Second Chances
by annieDD
Summary: Emily Clark is not a fan of change. When she is left with no other options, she has to get out of her comfort zone. With her trust issues and experience, she will struggle on a daily basis. That is something Marty Deeks can relate to as well. Impossible as it seems, it is never too late for a second chance. Rated T
1. Chapter 1

**Hello there! Thanks for deciding to check out my story. This is my first NCIS LA story, although I had this one on my mind for a while now. Before you start reading, I want to say something important. I am a big Densi shipper. I love 'em. I really do. BUT, I love Deeks even more. And I wanted to try something new with this story. As you might realize by now, Kensi is not alive in my story. She has died about six months before the first chapter. Please, don't just judge a book by its cover. Give it a shot. She will be mentioned a lot, since Deeks will be carrying tons of emotional baggage, as well as the OC. This is just a little something I think might work.**

 **And I need to know what you think. Don't be afraid to tell me. I will wait for feedback, and decide whether or not to continue this story. Just… tell me what you think.**

 **English isn't my first language, so please forgive if I make some stupid mistakes!**

 **Be kind and enjoy :)**

 **Oh, and I don't own anything except Emily (OC) and her family :)**

"Em?" Tony called, and I looked up." Are you gonna finish that report anytime soon?" He asked.

"Yes, you boring monster, it's going to be on your desk in less than an hour." I said. He's annoying me. Not only is he banging on about it since I walked into the office, but he knows that I'm good at my job. If I have to have a report finished, I'll finish it. I'll meet the deadline, no matter the price.

"I'm just reminding you." He said with an innocent smile. Innocent my ass. He's evil, that's what he is.

"Go away from me, and find someone else to annoy." I said in a strict voice. He should know that I will use violence if I have to. And he really should learn from his past experiences. It's safe to say he didn't have a good time once I had it with him annoying the shit out of me.

"Em, it looks like you've got a visitor." McGee said, and I looked away from the papers once again. I wasn't expecting anyone, let alone my son who was running towards me.

"Whoa, easy there buddy!" I said when I hugged him. He is, simply put, my biggest treasure. I would do anything for him. Even try to maintain a civilized relationship with his father, who was approaching us now." What's up?" I asked. It's not that often that I bring Logan to work, and it's even rarer for Chris to show up. Whenever he brings him to my office, he has some urgent things he can't delay and is not really into paying a babysitter. It's a dick move, but I'll take what I can get. If that means I get to spend more time with Logan, I'm taking it. And Gibbs never really gave me a hard time about it.

"I need to talk to you." He said. Great, this is going to be amazing.

"Logan, go and torture Tony while I talk to your Dad, okay?" I asked, and Logan happily nodded and ran away to Uncle Tony. Of course, he will live up to the task and annoy the daylight out of him. I walked over to the office anyone rarely uses, and after checking if it's empty or not, and seeing that it is, I motioned to my ex-husband to walk in." What's going on Chris?" I asked. He was clearly here to talk about something important. It's not that hard to guess, since we normally just avoid talking to each other. By the end of our marriage, it was a really bad one, and it ended up an even worse divorce.

"I've got something to tell you." He said, and I nodded. I bit my tongue, not wanting to tell him to just spit it out already. I'm not going to push my luck." I'm going to LA." He said.

"Oh. Okay. I wasn't expecting that. Okay. "I said, not really sure how this affects me." You want to leave him with me? Just tell me how long you'll be away." I said.

"No, Emily, you don't get it. I'm going to LA permanently. I'm moving there." He said. Oh shit.

"Why? When? How?" I asked, barely managing to get the words out of my mouth.

"In a few days." He said, and my eyes went wide." Look, it was up in the air, it wasn't a sure thing and I wasn't sure about it until today." He said, fast. Probably because he could see I was about to blow up.

"And how long weren't you exactly sure about it?" I asked.

"I've know it was a possibility for a month or two." He said, and at that, my jaw dropped. That son of a bitch! This, this is too much, even for him. He's always been a fan of low blows but this was the lowest he ever got. And I'm not sure how long will he be lucky enough to not have me fighting back.

"I don't believe you Chris!" I yelled." This is bad, really bad. We won't have the time to sort everything out with the judge. We don't have the time for you to give me custody." I said.

"I'm not giving you the custody." He said, almost surprised that I would even suggest it." I'm taking Logan with me. I was just giving you the heads up."

"Wait, you're taking my son with you in a few days' time and you tell me that now?! And you expect me to be cool with it? What do you want me to say? Bon voyage you asshole?" I asked. This was incredibly mean and evil, even by his standards.

"Look, Emily, I have the custody, I can do whatever the hell I want." He said, completely unfazed by the fact that I was losing it. He doesn't even see in how many ways is this wrong." You should be lucky I even gave you the heads up." He added.

"Yeah, like I wouldn't find out where you went." I hissed." Where does this leave me?" I asked.

"In DC I suppose?" he asked. He didn't even have the guts to have a smug smile one. No, he was being an ass and a coward at the same time. That was Chris's talent, and he was the best there is.

"You can't just go and take my child with you." I said. There has to be some sort of gap in the law. But if there is, I don't know where the hell to find it. I've been over it all a thousand times. I paid the best divorce lawyer I could afford. And he was good. Sadly, not as good as my husband. The best divorce lawyer in DC. He spared me in no way. He cut me into pieces, set me on fire and presented me to the judge in that shape. No wonder he ended up with full custody, and the ability to do this to me.

"Yes, I can." He said. At this point, I'll have to wonder if he's doing this on purpose, just to piss me off, or he really wants and has to move to LA." I'll be sure to bring him with me whenever I'm back in DC. You can even appeal to get joint custody if you want to. Hell, you can move to LA. I'm giving you a lot more than I could, Emily, and you should know that." He said. Of course, he must be enjoying this.

"Yeah, I'm sure you are. And what are you gonna say to him?" I asked. Not wanting to know his response, I walked out of the office, and back to my desk. As I have suspected he would, Logan was full on torturing Uncle Tony, running around our desks while Tony was chasing him." Logan, honey?" I called for him, and he stopped running to walk over to me. God, he's eight. He's not old enough to see that what his father is doing is wrong, and yet, he's old enough to understand that he will be seeing me even less than he already was. I don't know how Chris will explain this to him. If I wasn't worried for Logan, I would leave him with that uncomfortable task. This way, I'm probably going to have to be there." Sweetheart, your Dad will take you home now. And I'll come over when I'm finished with work, okay?" I asked him, and he nodded.

"Okay Mom." He said and he hugged me. I bent down to kiss his head." I love you." He added with a smile on his face. I'll never stop thanking every force imaginable that he is nothing like his Dad.

"I love you too sweetheart." I said, and kissed him once again before Chris took him by the hand and they both walked away. My smile finally dropped, and I sat down behind my desk. Of course, my colleagues could see that something was incredibly wrong. And both McGee and Tony were staring at me." Just… don't ask. I'll tell you about it later." I said. It was enough for them, at least for now, since they decided to drop it, and go back to their own work.

I was focused just enough to not make mistakes in my report. But as soon as it was sorted out, page by page, both on paper and on computer, my mind started wandering.

I can't lose Logan. I have already lost him on paper, but I can't lose him as a person. If we live on two separate parts of the country, I'm going to lose him for sure. He'll grow up away from me, he'll get used to me not being around, and soon enough, he won't even need me. Sure, he'll call me every once and a while, I may even see him a couple of weeks a year, but he'll be lost to me. I can't let that happen.

I can't lose him, even if that means that I'll have to drop everything and follow them to LA. And I'll do just that.

I have everything here. A job I love. Friends, family, coleagues I consider family. It was never my plan to quit and move, but it seems to me that I don't really have an option. As much as I would like to stay here, Logan is my priority. Always has been, always will be. And I'll pay whatever price I have to pay.

I took a deep breath and I went to Gibbs's office. I have to do it fast. Like ripping off a band aid. It's just that it would be a hell of a lot easier if I didn't consider Gibbs a friend, a family member, a father figure even. He greeted me with a big smile when I entered his office.  
"What can I do for you Em?" He asked. Deep breaths Emily, deep breaths. Fast and efficient.

"Um, I'm handing you my two weeks' notice." I said, and Gibbs started rapidly blinking." Except I'm not actually handing you anything. I'm just telling you. I'll write it if I have to." I added. As always, when I'm nervous, I start babbling. Fortunately for me, I don't get easily nervous, especially when it comes to my work. No, I get worked up about private stuff, like quitting the only job I was ever good at.

"What the hell are you talking about?" He asked.

"Chris came over today to tell me that he's moving to LA in a couple of days and that he's bringing Logan with him." I said. There was no need for me to sugar coat it. It is something that I should share with him and besides, it's not like he won't find out eventually. I don't know how, but Gibbs knows everything.

"He can't do that." Gibbs said, shaking his head. He was in denial, just as I was. It's no wonder. He loves Logan, and he always says he's a grandson he never had. Gibbs is not just my boss and an old family friend, but he is my godfather as well. And next to Logan and my sister, he's the only family I have left.

"Actually, he can. He made that one quite clear today." I said, not even trying to hide my bitterness.

"What are you going to do?" Gibbs asked, and I sighed.

"Appeal. Appeal to every court in this world." I said, as it was the only thing that made sense to me." I'll go down to LA. I have a pretty big savings account I managed to build up over the years. It was meant to be for Logan when he starts college or something, but I'll save up some more. Mandy is there too, I'll get in touch with her, maybe sleep on her couch for a while." I said, knowing that my sister will help me in any way she can. I should just be happy that she lives in LA, and not some other city miles away from it.

"And what are you going to do there?" He asked, and I shrugged.

"Don't know. I was a pretty good waitress before I was a Special Agent. I still gave it in me." I said.

"You're not seriously contemplating working as a waitress?" He asked, and I shrugged my shoulders once again." You're crazy. You speak fluently at least six languages, you are one of the best shooters we have and you're a Special Agent for the NCIS for the love of God!" He yelled. I should have expected this.

"What am I supposed to do then? Enlighten me, please?" I demanded. If he's so smart, and if he always has a solution for everything, now is his time to shine, because I have never felt more lost in my life.

"Okay. Start packing your bags and tell Amanda to find you a good house. And I'll set up a transfer." He said, like he just informed me that rain has started falling.

"What transfer, what are you talking about?" I asked.

"You're going to work in the Los Angeles department of the NCIS. Last Hetty told me, they are a man down anyways. They need a good agent like you. I'll even pull in a few favors if I have to. I don't care what you say, if you're going after you're son, you won't be working at Hooters." He said.

"I wasn't planning on working at Hooters, if I might add." I said, finally able to make a joke, and happy that Gibbs accepted it." Thank you, Gibbs. I could never thank you enough for this." I said.  
"You're my family, so stop thanking me and start packing." He said. I had a small smile as I was exiting his office." Oh, Em!" He called, and I turned around." You get to tell the team. And Abby too." He said. Oh shit. With all that's happened, I only managed to think about my son and myself. The rest of the team didn't even cross my mind. Hopefully they won't hate me. Hopefully, they'd understand.

…

…

…

It's been two weeks. Chris and Logan have already settled down in LA. And I'm leaving, first thing in the morning. Everything's been settled. Gibbs assured me that I will be more than welcome in LA, and that I will still very much be a Special Agent, even there. Now, I only had to face this going away party.

The team understood. They wanted me to stay, as they said so themselves, but they get it why I have to go. Abby was affected mostly by the news, which wasn't exactly a surprise. But with me promising to be her host in LA, and to travel back to DC whenever I can, she managed to be a good sport.

As for Chris… Well, it's safe to say that he didn't expect the news I gave him that day, when I came over to his house. He clearly wasn't pleased, but he could say nothing about it. He knows very well that he made me do it, and that he suggested it in the first place. In pure sarcasm if I might add, but it was a suggestion either way. It's just that he didn't expect it would be easy for me to leave DC.

And it wasn't. My heart is broken into million little pieces, but I know what I have to do. Logan comes first. That goes the same way for any mother and child, why should it be different in my case?

I just need to survive this night. Of course, in two days' time, I'll be dealing with a complete different team in a complete different city, but I'm taking things one step at the time. And the first step is managing not to cry while looking at my coworkers in our office filled with balloons, cakes, and a big "We'll miss you" sign hanged on the wall.

"How are you feeling?" Gibbs asked me when he decided to keep me company as I was sulking in the corner of the room, trying to keep my emotions under control.

"Not sure." I said, knowing better than to lie to Gibbs." I'm mostly sad that I'm leaving. Chances are I'll have a proper freak out tomorrow when I meet the new team." I said. I've been avoiding that, and he knows it. It's hard enough to leave. Trying to fit in somewhere else makes things only worse. I don't know them, I don't know whether or not they are going to be friendly and welcoming and most importantly, I don't know how the hell am I going to work with them.

I've been an agent for 4 years now. I'm good at what I do. And I'm good because I have a good team. In this line of work, you absolutely need to be surrounded by people you can rely on. You trust them with your life, for all tense and purposes. Teamwork is pivotal. Now, I've always been a good team player. It didn't really need effort, it was natural, unforced. And I'm scared as hell that it won't be like this the second time around.

"You'll fit in just fine." Gibbs said." They've lost an agent, but Hetty says they're ready for a new one." He said.

"What do you mean they've lost an agent?" I asked, but one look at him, and I knew exactly what he meant by that." Gibbs! Why didn't you tell me sooner?" I asked. And now I'm pissed at him. Great!

"Because I knew you would have a problem with that."

"Yeah, and for a good reason!" I snapped. I took a deep breath, trying to stop myself from causing a scene." Gibbs, this is not fair. I had no idea that they've lost an agent. I'm not sure I'm ready for that. I've been on the other end, and it sure as hell isn't nice. I couldn't be joining their team at a worse moment." I said. It was still too fresh for me, even if it's been three years. I have lost a partner. And I know what that does to you, both as a person and as an agent. I didn't want to deal with that and Gibbs knew it. That is exactly why he didn't inform me about it. I'm screwed. I'm beyond screwed.

"I told you, they are ready." He said.

"Yeah, I said that too, and I'm still not sure if that's true."

"Emily, listen to me." He said. I was trying to ignore him, but ignoring Gibbs isn't exactly the easiest thing to do. I wasn't looking at him, but I could still very much hear him." You are going to go there, you are going to kick ass and save their lives countless times, and you won't even want to come back." he said.

"I find that highly unlikely." I argued, and I took a deep breath once again." Let's just drop it, please. It's my last night here, and I don't want to spend it being pissed at you. Let's just… try to forget about the fact that you lied to me, and try to have some fun." I said, and when I did look at him, he had his signature all knowing smile, which was impossible not to reciprocate.

"I think that's the best idea you've had in ages." He said, and I couldn't stop myself from hitting him on the shoulder. We both laughed, but once the laughter died, we made our way towards the crowd.

It was fun and emotional at the same time. No one wanted me to leave, I myself didn't want to leave, and move across the country.

There was nothing that could have been done, so we did the best we could. We've decided to celebrate those four amazing years we shared together, both the good and the bad that happened along the way. In all honesty, there was plenty of both, but good had won this fight.

As was expected, I couldn't hold back my tears for the whole night. I had a mini break down while I was giving them my farewell speech, which was also, in a way, a thank you speech.

I will miss them all. I will miss Abby's persistency, Gibbs's guidance, McGee's jokes. Hell, I'll even miss Tony more than I would care to admit.

Four years is not a little time. With everything that has happened in my life since my first day here, at the NCIS, these people became my family. While I know that that will never change, I was going to my next battle alone. And scared beyond belief.

I don't know how the hell am I going to do it. All I do know is that I have to try.


	2. Chapter 2

**So far so good, right? Thank you for reading and following. I'm going to wait a little bit before I post the next one, just to see how things go. I didn't wait too long between this one and the last one, but that's because we didn't get to meet the team. Anyways, you know the drill. Please, feel free to send me your reviews; I'm always up for criticism and ideas. :)**

…

…

…

"Emily, now would be a good time for you to calm down." Mandy said, but I shook my head. Of course, my big sister was trying to help me in every way possible. Even if she knew very well that there was no use. That was Amanda's role, as it was my whole life. It never mattered if we were living in the same house, or on two different continents. She was always there for me, if not physically, than mentally.

"Mandy, there is no chance of me calming down, so you should just drop it." I said, and I could just imagine her eye rolling that went along with her sigh. She was a good sport. Not only did she found me a good house, not only was she calming me down for my first day of work, but she was staying with me for two past nights until I'm used to everything. My sister is an artist and an art teacher, so in case of a trouble or, let's say, an armed robbery, she wouldn't be exactly useful. My gun would come in handy though. She was simply a… safety blanket. Moral support, as she always was.

"Ems, I'm pretty sure you're nervous for nothing." She said." What do you wear for your first day as an NCIS Special Agent?" She asked, and I held to hold back the desire to throw something at her.

"I don't know, that kind of is the problem here." I said as I continued roaming through my suitcase.

"What did you wear on your first day in DC?" She asked.

"Can't remember." I spat out, angrier at myself than at her questions. Of course, a suit is a nice touch, but I do need to be comfortable. You never know if you'll have to chase a narco boss or a gang member with anger management issues. I doubt that I'll do that on my first day, but you never know. Not to mention that I'm not used to the heat and humidity in Los Angeles. It's always hot, and that makes me nervous and twitchy, and I was plenty of both even without the influence of weather. If I wear a suit and pants, I'll be a boiled egg by noon!

"Look, why don't you just go for something both comfortable and casual?" She asked. Well, I'm opened to suggestion. She must have seen that, as she dived into the suitcase with me." Here. Wear this and jeans." She said and handed me a navy blue shirt with middle length sleeves. Well, it's better than nothing, and I doubt I'll come up with a better idea anytime soon.

"Yeah, it could work." I agreed, and I started changing from my pajamas. "I've gotta tell you, I can't wait until this day is over." I said as I pulled the shirt over my head." I'm not good with new people, and I have a slight suspicion they won't be as welcoming." I said.

"Because they lost an agent?" Mandy asked. She knew everything, since I complained to her all day long.

"Yes. Believe me, that effects an agent more than any of us would care to admit." I said. It's been years since I've lost someone on the field, and I'm still carrying that with me. In all honesty, I doubt it will ever pass. And if it does… well, I should get worried if it does.

"I'm not saying that that's not the truth, but I doubt they will… bully you or something." She said. Great, now I'm going to have a fear of being bullied." They're grownups. And professionals. I know you agents; you would never let anything compromise your work." She said. And she does know us. I'm an agent, our father was and agent, and our godfather is the best agent in the business. She knows her way around us, but luckily, she didn't want to become one of us.

"I hope they see it that way too." I said, and with a sigh, I crashed on the bed." I'm scared Mandy. This is not just about me changing teams. I have no idea what happened to the previous agent. I'm not even sure I want to know. This is either going to be okay, or a failure of epic proportions."

"I'm gonna go with okay." She said, pretending to choose a better option." Come on, get ready if you want me to drive you. I'm going to leave without you in ten minutes." She warned me.

Of course, Mandy was my designated driver for the time being. I didn't have a car yet, and even if I did, I don't know LA at all. It's safer for me to have someone drive me around for a first couple of days. And Mandy is more than willing to.

…

…

…

"Don't you dare." She warned me, and my hand dropped. I was just about to change the station.

"You suck, do you know that?" I asked, and she started laughing. It was incredibly annoying.

"Yes, I know that. But you still won't push your superior knowledge in music on me." She announced, and I was the one laughing now." Honestly, Emily, you need to learn how to control it." She said.

"I can't help it. I'm opinionated when it comes to music." I said.

"Oh, it's not just the music." She said under her breath, and I rolled my eyes. I was surprised when she pulled up in front of a house." We're here." She said.

"Are you sure?" I asked, and she pointed to the GPS. Yes, this is the address I've been given." It's so much different than the one in DC." I said. If it wasn't for the large parking lot, I never would have guessed that it isn't a large, family home." Well, I guess this is it." I said, trying to do anything that would allow me to avoid entering the office just a while longer.

"Go!" Mandy yelled, and I decided that it's better to get away from her. I closed the door, and she leaned in." Stop worrying. You're going to kill it." She said. No, I'm not. But I don't have a choice. So I walked away from the car and towards the door.

I stopped with my hand on the doorknob.

Emily, you can do this. You are a freaking awesomely good Special Agent. You had a son when you were 19 and you managed to make a good little man out of him. You have saved hundreds of people. You are good at your job, and you are good with people. You can fucking do this!

One more deep breath and you're opening the door. Just one more deep breath.

I did it. I opened it and walked in.

No one even noticed me, which is completely fine by me. I'll just keep walking and try to find Hetty.

"Can I help you?" someone called, and I knew my luck had run out. When I turned around, I could see that I was right. A man was walking towards me, seemingly confused. Late 30s perhaps, muscular and nice on the eye I must admit. He's not wearing a suit to give it away, but I know he's an agent. I've been in this business for a long time. I know one when I see one.

"Yes actually." I said, too freaked out to smile." I'm looking for Hetty." I said. Oh God, he knows. He knows I'm the new agent, I can see it on his face. There goes my safety net of five minutes before they all know who I am. If Hetty told them, and I have a feeling she did, then they are excepting me. Crap.

"And you are?" He asked. Great, he's stuck up. At this point I already know I'm going to miss Tony too much. He was annoying as hell and more, but at least he was a comic relief, and not… well, this.

"I'm Special Agent Emily Clark." I said, offering my hand. Well, at least he accepted it straight away.

"DC transfer?" He asked. Yup, I'm going to have a welcoming committee.

"That would be me." I announced, too nervous to care whether or not he can tell that I'm nervous.

"Special Agent G. Callen." He said, with a teeny tiny trace of what might be a smile." I think Hetty's in her office. Take the stairs and left. You can't miss her." He said. Well, he's kind enough. I nodded with a stiff smile on my face, and I resisted the urge to run up the stairs. It had actually taken me a whole lot of concentration to keep a steady pace. I couldn't even turn around. I was scared of G. Callen looking at me, and commenting me with the other agents. I know he's doing it, I can feel it, but I have to ignore it.

"Mrs. Clark?" I heard a female voice, and I turned around. I met Henrietta Lange once, about three years ago, when she needed our assistance. Hetty is the type of person who really does leave an impact. And she's awesome. I smiled at her, happy to see a familiar face in this lion's den.

"It's actually Miss Clark now, Hetty." I corrected her and I went in for a hug.

"It is good to see you Miss Clark." She said when I pulled away." Follow me; let's have a cup of tea in my office." She said with a kind smile. I wanted a tequila shot, but I kept that for myself.

I was sitting in silence while she was preparing us tea. At least we have some privacy here. I hate the thought of everyone staring at me.

What the hell is wrong with me?! I wasn't this nervous on my first day in DC, not even close. Of course, things were slightly different. Gibbs is like a father to me, and he was my safety net then. God, I'm a grown ass, capable woman, and I'm NOT insecure. I don't know what's wrong with me today.

"I trust you have settled in in Los Angeles Miss Clarke?" Hetty asked as she took a seat.

"Yes, I did. My sister found me a nice house, on the beach. I'm in the process of moving in."

"And how do you like Los Angeles?" She asked. Hm, to lie or not to lie? Hetty's good. She'll know a lie.

"I suppose it's good. I'm still a bit home sick, I miss DC a lot." I admitted." It's too hot here for my taste, but I'll get used to it." I said, even though I didn't believe it at all. Honestly, I have no problem with LA as a city. But I have a big, big problem with the weather. I miss the unpredictability of Washington.

"Agent Gibbs has informed me on the reasons for your transfer." She said. Of course he has.

"Hence the Miss." I said, and she laughed." I was left with no other options, but you should know that I am taking this move very seriously. This is not a road stop for me. I won't try and run back to DC the first chance I get. I'm here now and my focus is here as well." I said, not sure if I'm lying or not. Yes, I'm definitely taking my job seriously and I will give 110% of myself to it on a daily basis. The problem is, I don't know what the hell I will do if I get ridiculously lucky and get custody of Logan. I'll try and build myself a life here, but I can't make promises of not returning to DC ever again. The only thing I can promise, both to Hetty and myself is that I won't be doing everything I can to get back there. I am where I am, I'll do what I have to do. Besides, I doubt I will be ridiculously lucky anytime soon.

"I do not doubt your capability, or your devotion, Miss Clark." Hetty said." Gibbs and I go way back. I know he wouldn't send anything but the best. Besides, I've seen you in action." She said, and I smiled. That she did." And as for your personal problems… Well, let's just say that Gibbs has informed me on that too. Your former husband is on our turf now. I'll pull in a few favors when the time comes, and he will know he's not in DC anymore." She said. I couldn't help but smile even wider.

I was Don Quixote the first time around. Christopher was the best divorce attorney in Washington. His job was to win. With his abilities and close friendship with the judge with whom he plays golf on Sundays, I was screwed. He got everything. I was the one who moved out, I was the one who lost the kid. Perhaps I'll have luck on my side in this round. Or Hetty. I'm more than fine with either.

"One step at a time Hetty. I need to settle down first, then we'll destroy him." I joked.

"Slow and steady wins the race." She said, and I couldn't agree more to that." Now, do you have any questions for me?" She asked. About five billion, but like she said, slow and steady wins the race.

"I do actually." I said, and I took a deep breath." I find out just days ago that I'll be joining a team who lost an agent." I struggled with the choice of words. She already knew what I was going to ask.

"I know that you know how that feels." She said, and I nodded. There are no secrets. She probably even knows the color of the dress I wore in my kindergarten group photographs." Agent Blye was a valuable member of the team and a dear friend. Losing her left a deep mark on all of us. But my boys are grown men. They are aware of how it goes. It is only natural to have a strong team. Even if that means bringing in someone new." She said. I'm screwed.

Ten minutes. It's been about ten minutes since I walked into her, and I'm already slowly giving up. It's going to take me ages to fit in, gain their trust, if I manage to do it at all. I'll never get that feeling that my team is my family. I see that now, and I better start getting used to it.

"Hetty, do you think we can do this?" I asked. I don't want to waste my time, and I don't want to waste theirs. If this is not going to work, than we should just end it. I've heard Hooters pays well?

"If I didn't think we could do this, you wouldn't be sitting here Miss Clark." Hetty said with that all knowing smile. I suppose I should trust her intuition if I'm not capable of trusting my own. I don't have anyone else here, and I barely know her. I've never been more lost in my entire life. As always, I can deny it, I can even fight it, but I am lost.

Hopefully, the team is in a better place than I am. Or it would be blind leading the blind.

"How are we going to do this then?" I asked, ready to take it on. It can only get better than this, since I have hit rock bottom. The only way is up, so I might as well just take it.

"I'm going to give you a tour of the building today, so that you can get familiar with the working space. You will have a few more days to settle in before you start working. Hopefully, that will give you time to get used to the people here." She said. How am I supposed to do that if I'm not actually here?

"I'm ready when you're ready." I announced.

"Let's go and meet the team then." She said. I managed a weak smile, and I followed her out of the office. We went down the stairs and walked over to a large bullpen. Three people were there, three men. One is the one I have already met, Special Agent G. Callen. He's the only one who didn't look confused. The man next to him guessed who I was soon enough. God, he's large. I might be good in hand to hand combat, but this guy would destroy me. And there was the third guy. Shaggy blond hair and an expression that says that he would rather be anywhere else. Boy, do I know the feeling.

"Gentleman, this is Special Agent Emily Clark. She will be joining your team in a few days' time." Hetty said. A wave would be unprofessional, so I opted for a nod. Both Callen and the big one nodded back.

"Sam Hanna." The big one said, and offered me his hand, which I accepted.

"Deeks." Said the shaggy one, not getting out of his seat." Pleasure." He added and returned to his computer. Ouch. Two out of three were friendly enough, but this guy is not impressed.

"Likewise." I commented, sarcasm in my voice more than obvious. His head shot up, looking at me in surprise, but I ignored him. I may be the new girl, but I'm not someone you can push around." It is an honor for me to work with you. I have heard nothing but kind words, and I hope we can work well as a team." I said, choosing my words carefully this time around. I'm the one who's waving a white flag here, and I kind of need them to do the same.

"Hey?" Said Sam, his arms spread like he's calling me in for a hug." Welcome." He said with a smile.

"Thanks." I replied.

Hey, it's not brilliant, but it seems to be going better than I initially expected it to. Sam is friendly, Callen is somewhere in the middle, and Deeks is not even looking at me. He's projecting an insane amount of animosity towards me, but hey, better him than all of them.  
"Now, Miss Clark, if you're ready, I'll show you our work space." Hetty said.

"Lead the way Hetty." I smiled, and went back to following her around.

It is definitely different than what I was used to.

Everything, from the city, to the team. It's too bad I simply _have_ to make it work, no matter the price.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys! I'm really, really happy with the way this story's going. It feels good when I write it, and it feels even better when I see that you like it. Especially you fellow Densi fans. It wasn't easy for me to split them up (Nice way of saying it) but I think it will benefit Deeks's character, at least in my story. There will be ups and downs, and the journey's just beginning. Tell me what you think, like I've said, I'm always open to suggestions, ideas, criticism and compliments too :) Oh, and I apologize to all REO Speedwagon fans in advance. What the hell, I love that song too. Guilty pleasure :) Hope you like it, and a new chapter will be up in a few days. Ana**

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"Abby, it's bad." I whispered. There was one person I could complain to without holding back, knowing that she would give me the best advice possible. Of course, Mandy was here too, but I didn't want to push it on her. She's already gone out of her way to help me adjust to these changes, and I don't want to make things even worse. Especially since today is the first day she's left me to be on my own.

"You haven't been with them for more than two hours!" She yelled. Okay, I was not expecting that.

"Yeah, imagine how bad it would have been if I had stayed there longer." I said. Yesterday, Hetty showed me the rest of the building, and that was it for the day. I didn't bring my stuff with me, so I didn't have to settle in straight away, and to find my own place in the team's bullpen. I was back in my new house before I knew it. And as for today and tomorrow, I'm free as a bird. I should enjoy it.

"From what you told me, one of them is more than fine with you, one is indifferent, and only one of them is acting like an ass. In my book, one and a half out of a three is not that bad." She said.

"No, it probably isn't, but that was just the introduction." I said, fully aware that the worst is yet to come." In two days' time I'm supposed to put my life in their hands, and that is not easy."

"Yeah, but they put their lives in your hands too, don't they?" She asked. I hate it when she's right." You might be on a downward spiral, but things aren't exactly peachy for them either, are they?" She asked.

"No, they're not, and I know that very well. Hell, it's probably even worse for them then it is for me."

"Then could you please stop expecting them to chew your head off?"

"No." I whispered, and that made her laugh." Abby, this is going to be difficult for all of us for a long period of time." I said. Sure, I can try, but it's still going to be a pain in the ass.

"Then you better put a smile on your face and try to make the best of it." She said. As always, it's sunshine and flowers with Abby. She wears a whole lot of dark clothes for someone who's so bubbly." Oh, gotta go, Gibbs needs me." She said, and hung up before I could even say goodbye.

I wanted to be in on the damned case! Instead, I'm here, a long way from home, in my shorts and oversized T shirt, ready to paint the walls of my new bedroom.

I was doing just about anything to keep my mind off my troubles. I didn't want to think of what waits for me in that office, of Chris and his crap personality, of the team I left behind… If that means I'm going into DIY mode, I'm doing it.

Sadly, painting your walls in a pastel yellow color can only do so much. Before I knew it, I was swimming in yellow paint and regret. And Chris just happens to be my biggest regret.

How did I get here? How did we get here?

It wasn't a fairytale, that's for sure. I was young, and he was that charming, slightly older man I couldn't resist. He's only 6 years older than me, but I was 18 when we met. And I was 19 when I got pregnant. I was training to be a police officer, and bam, everything changed. I became a mother, a stay at home mom. I loved being a mother, but I started hating being a wife. The love I felt for Chris was fading away, rapidly. I kept my mouth shut only because I knew he would destroy me if I try to divorce him.

When Logan grew up a little bit, I decided to continue my training. One thing led to another, and I ended up in the NCIS, as a field agent. Two years into my new job was when all hell broke loose on me.

Chris and I were arguing almost all the time. When we weren't arguing, I was working. Before I knew it, he had beaten me to it, and filed for divorce. It was a dangerous downward spiral since then.

To make things worse, he's still doing his best to get on my nerves. I followed him and our son to a different part of the country, and he's still pretending like he's the one who should be in charge. It took all the strength I had not to explode. He was in his office, doing whatever it is that he does for a living, and our son was at their house, alone. I had tons of free time, and I suggested to him that Logan should spend the day with me. Instead of saying "Sure, it makes sense, have fun." Chris went for the "I don't think it's a good idea for him to spend time with you before you've really settled down in LA."

He did it just to piss me off. There was no other reason behind it. I knew it, and it wasn't like he tried to hide it. In times like these, I can't help but wonder what the hell was I thinking a few years back. I say to myself that he's changed, and that he's nothing like the guy I fell for, and it helps. Occasionally.

If it wasn't for Logan, I would have been more than happy to get rid of Chris from my life, for good. But I had to keep him there. I did my best to make things easier for my son, as much as I could, at least. A divorce is a divorce, no matter how civilized your parents are. I never snapped at Chris in front of him, not even while we were married. I held my tongue, no matter how difficult it was. Even when we separated, I never said a bad word about him in front of our son. Was I angry? Yes. Was I hurt? I don't like to admit it, but I was hurt too. Did I try to turn my son against his father? Never.

On the other hand, I had no control, or insight for that matter, on to what he was telling Logan about me. My only hope was that I have raised a smart boy, brave enough to form opinions for himself and not let anyone influence them more than they should. So far, it has worked out for me. He seems to understand that I don't want for things to be the way they are now. And he still loves me. At the end of the day, that is the only thing that matters and that should matter.

For years, I was a happy, positive girl, a hippie who believed that there is no such thing as hate. At the time, I defined it as intensive dislike. But I've been through too much. People have stabbed me in the back, repeatedly. Used me whenever they had a chance, simply because I wanted to help them.

That doesn't work on me anymore. Now, you get what you give. And now I'm absolutely sure that there is something that is called pure hate. If Logan wasn't living under Chris's roof, I would have prayed for a whole lot of asbestos.

I am failing at life as much as I have failed in painting my new bedroom. It looked like a poorly trained monkey had gotten hold of a brush. I'm going to have to call professionals. The only reason I went full on DIY was to get distracted. It didn't work at all. The only thing I did was waste my time.

I have nothing to do!

Hetty was overseeing the transfer paperwork, and I have already signed everything that needed to be signed. Logan was held captive by his father. Mandy is in the middle of her creative hurricane, as she calls it, and I would only be interrupting her. Besides, I don't want to bore the girl to death.

There was nothing good on TV. Nothing I was interested in, or reruns that I had already watched a million times. I've even managed to watch ten whole minutes of "Sex & the City" before I realized that I would rather stare at the ceiling.

Strangely enough, that's what I did. I got myself a beer, turned on the music, and just sat on the couch, staring at the ceiling. A book would have been an ideal solution, but all of my books are currently on route from Washington to Los Angeles. It was me, the ceiling, my beer and The Police.

A couple hours later, I was singing my heart out to The Offspring, my third beer in hand. That was when I heard the doorbell.

I went from a slightly intoxicated young lady to a fully alerted Special Agent in 0.2 seconds.

Mandy would have called ahead. And I'm new here, I don't even know anybody.

When I lived in Washington, I kept one of my guns in a cabinet drawer in the hallway, near the door. It was locked whenever Logan was staying with me, even though he knew very well not to touch one of my guns. Even though half of my stuff weren't even in the house, as soon as I walked into this place for the first time, I did two things. One, I put up framed photographs of Logan, Logan and myself and my old team all over the house. Two, I found a place to keep my gun close to the front door.

I reminded myself that you can never be too safe as I tucked in the gun in my jeans. I opened the door and it's safe to say, I was surprised when I saw Callen on my porch.

"Um, hello." I said, confused with the whole situation." How did you know where I live?" I asked.

"Hetty." He said with a smile, as if he was telling me to get used to it. Of course it was Hetty. That woman is an alien. A very intelligent and capable alien.

"And to what do I owe the pleasure?" I asked, hoping I didn't sound sarcastic, because I wasn't trying to be sarcastic at all. It's just that I wasn't expecting a house visit.

"Again, the answer is Hetty. She sent me here to check on you, see if you're settled in, or need any help." He said. Kind of him. And kind of Hetty too. I needed a painter, a handyman, someone who can help me with heavy lifting, and if he has an eye for interior design, even better!

"Oh no, it's… smooth sailing." I lied, followed with a slightly hysterical laughter I was embarrassed for the second it got out of me. I'm definitely not acting like a grown woman." But thanks for checking in. Since you're here, do you want to come in for a beer?" I asked. The free time I had on my hands was closing in on me, and Callen seemed like a good distraction. At least I'll talk to someone before I start talking to the furniture. Besides, this might be a good idea. I'll get a chance to talk to him, get to know him a little bit, on neutral terrain. Without the tensions that work inevitably brings.

"Sure." He said, and I stepped aside to let him in the house. I returned my gun back in the drawer, and I could swear I saw a smile on Callen's face, but it was gone too fast for me to be sure I hadn't imagined it. Agents. Takes one to know one.

"You make yourself comfortable, and I'll get the beer." I said as I walked to the kitchen.

Okay, it's safe to say I wasn't expecting guests. First of all, I looked like crap. My long, brown hair was in a mess, I was wearing my old, washed up jeans and an oversized black T shirt with the Rolling Stones tongue on it. And second of all, I haven't actually stocked up on housewarming party food and drinks. All I had were eggs, cheese, popcorn and beer. I hope he's not hungry, or that he really likes cheese omelet.

"Here you go." I said as I handed him the beer. I noticed he was looking around the room, and I felt a little bit ashamed. I'm not particularly tidy. Chris used to lose his mind while he was living with me. I'm good at cleaning, I'm fast at it too. It's just that that doesn't happen often enough for the house to be spotless. My living room looked like a second hand store whose shipment of new stuff had just arrived.

"This is a pretty decent place." He said, and I smiled.

"Yeah. My sister picked it out. She's Wonder Woman basically. Never does anything wrong." I said, and he started laughing. I wonder if he knows that feeling of having a perfect sibling." You should see the outside." I said, and at that very moment, my player decided to play "Can't fight this feeling" by REO Speedwagon. My eyes went wide, and so did Callen's. So much for a superior knowledge in music." Oh God. Yeah, that's a good idea, let's go outside." I said, not even bothering to hide my embarrassment . At least I made him laugh. Really, Emily? REO?! He did lead the way outside, saving me from Kevin Cronin.

"Good view." He said, and I nodded. I might not like Los Angeles that much for now, but I could not complain about the view. It was absolutely perfect. The beach, the sunset that I watched hours ago, and it's not even on a busy part of the beach. I only see avid surfers and neighbors, not wandering tourists." Do you surf?" Callen asked, just as I was taking a sip of my own beer. I almost chocked.

"You're kidding, right?" I asked, and he started laughing, probably because he's realized just how highly unlikely that suggestion is." Nah, I was a horseback riding teenager, not hitting the waves." I said. Well, I was a teen mom too. Not exactly what you envision as your ideal life, though it worked out for me.

"So, where's your son?" Callen asked. Oh God, did Hetty give them a briefing about me?

"Let me guess, Hetty?" I asked, and to my surprise, he laughed and shook his head.

"Surprisingly, no." He said. Now I'm intrigued." I saw the photos in your living room." He said. I can't believe I was actually that stupid to not even think of that as a possible explanation. Callen is an agent, he is trained to notice these things. And I'm, apparently, an idiot.

"What a perception." I said, and he laughed." He's with his dad." I said. There's no point in lying now, is it? He'll find out soon enough. And it's never too soon for an agent to agent bonding moment.

"Back in DC?" He asked. I'm genuinely surprised Hetty didn't tell them everything. It seems like she wanted me to be the one to tell them, whenever I wanted to. But that wasn't exactly a secret.

"Here, actually." I said." That's the whole reason why I transferred. You know how it goes. Boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, girl gets pregnant, boy and girl marry. Beautiful marriage, horrible marriage and an even worse divorce. Disney should make a movie." I added, but this time, he didn't laugh. My sarcasm didn't cover up the fact that I'm not exactly proud of the whole thing." He got custody and now decided to move to Los Angeles. I didn't want him to take my son away. I would have done just about anything, but Gibbs knew that you needed an agent. And here I am." I said.

"You were young when you had your son, weren't you?" He asked.

"19." I said, and the look on his face was one of pure shock." Yup. Pretty young, isn't it?" I asked.

"How old are you now?" He asked, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"27." I said, and his eyes went wide again." Oh come on, I'm not that young." I complained.

"I'm 44." He said, and my mouth dropped. I never would have guessed. Late thirties, tops. But mid-forties? When he compares our age, no wonder he thinks I'm young.

"God, you're old." I blurted out, before I even knew what I was saying.

"Thank you!" He said, heavy in sarcasm." Well, the fact that you're younger doesn't make you a lesser agent." He said. And thank God for that! Countless times I was faced with doubt because of my age. I might be in my twenties, but I'm a damned good agent. Hard working, capable and determined.

"I'm the youngest in the team again, aren't I?" I asked. Here we go again, the same old story.

"Yes. Sam's 43 and Deeks is 34." He said. Well, at least one of them is closer to my age. Too bad it's the one who apparently hates my guts, for no reason at all. I am familiar with the pain of replacing an agent, and what it does to the rest of them, but even so, Sam and Callen were at least nice to me.

"Does Deeks usually have trouble warming up to people or is it just me?" I bluntly asked.

"It depends." Callen said, trying to keep things as neutral as possible. That only confirmed my theory. It's just me. Well, isn't that just wonderful?

"Let me guess this one. You and Sam have been partners for years, and I'm going to be stuck with that surfer dude who hates me, right?" I asked. I was too annoyed to pay attention to my choice of words.

"Probably, yes." Callen said, apparently unfazed at my slight rudeness. To be fair, Deeks does have that surfer dude look going on. And he didn't exactly deny the unwanted tension between Deeks and me.

"What happened, Callen?" I asked, and he looked confused." I know what it feels like. To lose a team member." I clarified, and he instantly looked away. I was prepared for that one though. Like I just said, I know the feeling." Look, I know it's not easy, and I know you don't want to talk about it, but I need to know, at least the basics." I said. I know him just long enough to see that he is a professional. He wouldn't be working in this line of work that long if he wasn't. What needs to be done needs to be done. That is why he was kind with me, Sam too. I know they don't exactly want me here, they know I don't exactly want to be here, but we need to work with what we have. It's as simple as that.

"Kensi was a friend." He said. I never thought it could have been any different. It's only natural to form a close friendship with someone with whom you work closely with for years. It's not even friendship; it's something between that and a family." She was an amazing agent and a good girl." He said. It didn't take me long to realize that I won't be getting much more out of him. I will not push him, since I know how that one feels too." It was a regular case, nothing that big. Just another day on the job. But, she got shot. And she died hours later." He said. I'll never know which is worse, to lose them suddenly, not getting a chance to say goodbye, or to look them in the eyes, knowing that there is a chance that they might die. None of it is good, but I will never be able to decide just which one is worse.

"I'm very sorry." I said in a low voice. And I am. He talks about agent Kensi, but I don't just see her. I see every other agent I lost too. They were all brave and they all deserved more. I wouldn't wish that to my worst enemy. As someone who lost her father and mother, mother just a year ago and my dad when I was 12, I know very well that it truly is like losing a family member.

"You should know something." He said, and I frowned. Nothing good starts with that. I took a sip of my beer, just to prepare myself for what he's about to say." Deeks and Kensi were partners. Not just in the field." He said.

Oh, double crap.

That explains _everything_! She was his partner and his girlfriend. And I come, barging in, just months after he lost her, ready to be his new partner. Of course he won't like me at all!

I knew I was screwed, but I didn't know just how much until now. This is… this is really, _really_ bad.

"Fuck." I said, unable to say anything else.

"That pretty much sums it up." Callen said. Well, at least he isn't painting me a pretty picture, claiming it will all be fine and dandy. He's telling me like it is, he's 100% honest. That earns him a whole lot of points in my book." Look, he's a good guy. And he knew this was going to happen eventually. Just… I don't know. Give him time and don't blame yourself if he doesn't warm up to you straight away." He said. I have a slight suspicion that's an understatement of what's to come.

"I know. I get it." I said, nodding my head. There's not much I can do at this point. I can only prepare myself for days, weeks, maybe even months of walking on egg shells when I'm around Deeks. And I can also hope that he's not a complete idiot, and that he won't put us in danger with his possible behavior. For all I know, he might be super friendly in two days. I doubt it, but he might. I'm just… not going to jump to any conclusions and be careful around him. For now. Hopefully, it doesn't continue for too long, or at least that it ends before I lose all of my marbles. I'm already running low on them.

"I've gotta run." He said, and I nodded. In one gulp, he finished the rest of his beer." You have our numbers, so if you need anything, just call, okay?" He asked. I still need a handy man, but where not there yet. Sure, this might be a nice little chat we had, but we're far from being friends.

"Thanks. For that, and for checking in on me. And for telling me. Oh, hell, thanks for everything." I said when I realize I should just thank him for existing. At least I made him smile.

"You're welcome. I'll see you on Thursday." He said, and with nods, we said our goodbyes. He went around the house, and I just stood there, thinking of all he just said to me.

This is going to be more difficult that I initially imagined. Crap. It's a good thing I've got beer.

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…

"Look, Gibbs, I'm thankful you set up the transfer and everything, but a little heads up would have been nice." I said. Not only did he wait to tell me that they lost an agent, but he didn't tell me at all just how close the two from the team were.

"I didn't know Ems, I swear." He said. He wouldn't lie to me. Keep something from me, yes, maybe, if it is necessary. But lie? Never." It might not be as bad as you expect it to be." He said. You know you're in trouble if he's the one whose glass is half full.

"Nope, not bad at all, except that he doesn't want me there. I have a slight suspicion it will take me a lot to gain his trust, and we will probably be partners. Bottom line is, I don't want to die Gibbs." I said. This can really become something life threatening. When you are out on the field, you and your partner are supposed to be as one. You think together, you work together. You rely on them more than on anyone else, in your entire life. Changing partners is never easy, not even if it's a simple swap. Changing partners after the loss of an agent is a whole other level of difficult. And I don't even want to imagine what it's like when you become a partner to someone who lost his partner half a year ago, and who was in a relationship with her. That is exactly what is waiting for me. I'm not even mentioning my occasionally bad temper and my built in distrust of all people in general. If Deeks and I both make it out of this whole mess alive, we should really celebrate.

I've done some pretty difficult things over the course of my life, but this is going to be, without a doubt, the very top of the list. If I even live long enough to give it my best.

"Emily, why don't you at least try before you decide it's a complete failure?" Gibbs asked. I hate it when he's right." You need to do your best, and don't take it personal if it takes a while for them to get to know you. You are all professionals and you need to act that way." He said.

"You're right. I've gotta go. Early start tomorrow." I said.

"Let me know how it goes." He said, and I hung up.

This is just the beginning.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey there. Here's chapter 4. Tell me what you think; feel free to just put it out there. I hope there are a few more Densi shippers who gave this story a shot. A few reviews really made my day. You know the drill, if you like this, read, follow, favorite, review. I have tons of ideas for this story, and I hope I can make it an exciting journey for us all! :)**

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Today was different. I did not take a little time to prepare myself for the day before opening the doors. Nope. I opened them, and walked in with confidence I didn't even know I had.

"Morning." I said with a smile as I put my bag on the desk. Well, my _part_ of the desk. It's going to take a while for me to get used to this layout. Both Callen and Sam smiled at me. Good start Emily, good start.

"Hey, how's the move going?" Sam asked. Now Sam, Sam was believable. I've only seen and talked to Callen a few times, but I've been in his company long enough to see that you'll never quite know what he thinks. Sam was friendlier than him, at least for now. So far, he's been like an open book.

"I've spent 10 minutes trying to find a decent looking shirt." I said, and both of them laughed." It's a bit hectic, but I'll make it. The last boxes should be here tomorrow actually."

"If you need any help, like I've said." Callen said." Just call."

"Thanks, but I'm still living in the delusion that I have everything under control." I said. Oh, it feels so good to use sarcasm without holding back. I keep telling myself that the worst part is over, and it's working. I'm more relaxed today than I was two days ago, and I'm not pretending in any way.

"We've all been there, Clark." Sam said, and I couldn't help but smile. Clark. That sounds familiar. I was having my private nostalgia moment when Deeks walked to the desk, not acknowledging me in any way.

"Good morning." I told him. My inner self was trying to wave a white flag. Nice and friendly.

"Sorry, but your stuff is on my half of the table." He said, and I turned around. I didn't look when I was putting down my bag, and now I could see that it was on his half. The fact that he was right didn't make me any less pissed off. I was trying to act nice, and he just didn't care, at all, not one bit. I wanted to tell him to move my stuff himself if it bothers him. I wanted to say something in the line of "I deeply apologize Mr. Deeks, I swear it will never happen again, you ass.", but I bit my tongue. I was just about to call him out, when the word Kensi flashed before my eyes.

So I said nothing. I just moved my bag. I wasn't looking away though. I was staring at him, hoping that he will look up and see that I wasn't fine with this, but he didn't look my way.

How am I supposed to be myself if I can't tell him what I think?

I can't be a bitch. Not now, not to him. I would have been fine with it, if he wasn't a bitch himself.

Callen gave me a look, but Sam gave Deeks a look, to my surprise. Of course, he didn't see it, but it was nice to have someone passively defending me. And Callen was trying to be a peacemaker. His look was supposed to remind me on what he had said to me two nights before. And reminded me it did.

I'm a newbie who needs to keep her mouth shut. And I'll do it. But at some point, I'm not going to do it anymore. And when that happens, Deeks better be ready to play a good colleague.

"What's up with the box, Hetty?" Sam asked, and I turned around to see Hetty carrying a box that looked too big for her to carry it on her own. She might be tiny, but she's strong.

"Paperwork, Mr. Hanna." She said, and she theatrically dropped the box on my desk. Even Deeks looked up now." Mr. DiNozzo has requested your assistance Miss Clark. I believe it is urgent." She told me.

"I'm gonna kill him." I whispered. She, Sam and Callen all had their all-knowing smiles. It's going to take me ages to sort all of that out. Tony did this on purpose. He's annoying me from a distance, and I'm pretty sure he's enjoying it.

"Priorities, Miss Clark." Hetty said as she was walking away. Well, this pretty much just ruined my day.

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…

It took me five minutes to realize that Tony would have been able to do this on his own, even with that half empty head of his. This was nothing more than "Hey, we miss you, but you're still one of our own, so do your job, honey." And I wasn't happy about it.

I was on my third coffee for the day, and not even half way through the papers. At least I had an excuse to bow my head down and work in silence. It's not exactly a dream come true, but I did get a perfect opportunity to ignore Deeks and his rudeness.

"Emily?" Callen called and I looked up." We're going to interrogate a suspect now. Care to join?" He asked. My eyes narrowed. Now he's just teasing me. I should have expected this, to be honest.

"Very funny." I said. They were all laughing now, even Deeks. Well, it's nice to know that he finds my misfortune amusing." Have fun, I'm needed elsewhere." I added.

It looked like more work than it actually was. If they waited for me, I would have been able to join them on the interrogation. But either way, they've started this case without me, so I'm not going to try and push myself in the middle of it.

Besides, I have other work to do. As soon as I returned the box to Hetty, I changed and went to the gym.

I need to get this out of my system, whatever this is. And boxing is my go to technique.

I am probably one step away from a breakdown. Chris, the move, not getting to see Logan, shortage of people I can talk to, breaking ice with the team, Deeks… There is a tone of negative energy in me, and I need to get rid of it.

So I hit that punching bag with all the force I had in me. I had to stop myself a few times, just to catch my breath and not destroy the damned thing. I was bathing in sweat, but I kept kicking and punching. It's either this, or crying, and I try not to do crying.

"You're stronger than you look." Someone said behind me. I stopped punching just to turn around and see Deeks. He was wearing shorts and a T shirt, obviously ready to train as well. Now that I was empty of all the resentment and anger, it wasn't that hard to try and be nice, even to him.

"I've heard that one before." I said with a smile, but it didn't go too well with him. He just nodded and made his way to another punching bag." You want to go one on one?" I asked. I'm not ready to give up on him just yet. He might use a flamethrower to burn the flag I was still waving, but I'll keep trying.

"No, I'm good." He said. How much will I take until I've had enough? I was used to get my patience tested on a daily basis, but this guy's soon going to be on uncharted territory.

"Yeah, I can see that." I spat out and walked away before he could say anything else. I doubt he would have said anything either way.

This isn't easy for him, and I know it. But he needs to remember that none of this is my fault. I didn't want to be here. I'm here because I don't have a choice. I'm not pushing him, I'm taking my time, but he needs to remember that I'm not the person who killed Kensi. That is not my fault. None of this is! I hope he does realize that before I shout it to his face.

"Emily?" I heard Nell call as I was walking to the bathroom, and I stopped." I just wanted to tell you that your new car will arrive in a few days." She said, and I smiled. A few days? God, I hope it's soon. Mandy's getting sick and tired of driving me around, and I like to have control over the car radio. This is better for both of us. I have my fingers crossed that I'll have my own car sooner rather than later.

"What am I getting?" I asked, hoping for something good.

"Black Cadillac SRX." She said with a smile, and my mouth dropped.

"Nice." I whispered, and Nell was laughing. Out of everyone here, she's the one who liked me the most. For now. Eric was nice enough, but I didn't really have a chance to talk to him too much. Nell, on the other hand, was the overly enthusiastic person that would probably get on my nerves in a normal situation. Now, she was a welcomed addition." So, it'll be here in a day or two?" I asked.

"I hope. Three, tops." She said, and I nodded. Three more days of wait. I can live with that." I have to go; Eric wants to show me how to hack a twitter account." She said, and I frowned.

"Um, you do know that's illegal, right?" I asked. They work for the government for the love of God!

"Oh, no, we're not going to actually do it." She explained." He's just going to teach me how to do it." She said and ran away, leaving me confused. I suppose that's something technical analysts do for fun? She was radiating excitement, and I have a feeling that Eric was too.

"Miss Clark?" Hetty called as I was walking past her office." One moment please." She said. I have a feeling that it's impossible to walk from point A to point B in this house without getting stopped at all.

"Sure Hetty, but I don't exactly smell of daisies." I said, and she shook her head with a smile.

"I won't keep you from your shower. I just wanted to see how are you… adjusting to this dynamic?"

"So far so good." I said. I'm struggling, but I'm getting things done. It could have been a whole lot worse.

"The boys?" She asked, and I smiled.

"Welcoming." I said. Hell, I'm not even sure if I'm lying to her or not. They are kind, most of the time, most of them. And I don't want to put them into trouble. Hetty looks like someone who could kick your ass if she decides you deserve it. It's not peachy, but there is no need for Hetty to put her skills on test.

"Deeks?" She asked with an all-knowing look and raised eyebrows.

Is it really that obvious? I'm fine with him playing hard to get, but I don't need everyone here to know it too. Aren't we both getting plenty of sympathetic looks? Or does he feed from them?

"Deeks is a… though cookie." I said, failing to find another appropriate phrase." I'm fine. I get it. I'll be used to it soon enough. Right now, I just want to finish my work for the day and go home." I said.

"You do that." Hetty said, with a smile. Again, a sympathetic one.

There. There is the reason why I don't really like it here. Back home, I didn't get that. I didn't get that even when I was going through the toughest times in my life. I was used to getting a pat on the back, and not the "Oh dear… it will be better" looks.

I just want to go home. Sadly, I'll just go to my new house.

…

…

…

As I way of repaying Mandy for her driving service and for being my full time support, I've decided to make her "Thank you for being an awesome big sister" lunch. My world famous beef stew was almost ready. I was in the final stages of cooking it when Mandy started grilling me about work.

"How long will you let him treat you like that?" She asked. Mandy knows me better than anyone. And she knows how bad it can get if I lose it. She grew up with me for the love of God, she knows it! It's not something that happened very often, but when it did, it was memorable, and not in a good way.

"I wish my patience had an expiration date, so I could know in advance. He's clearly still grieving. Which is fine by me." I said. When I talk to Mandy about work, I don't hold back on the information. I tell her everything. It's just that I don't think she understands it. Yes, she is familiar with the pain of losing someone just as much as I am, but she doesn't know what it's like for an agent. I complain to complain, not in hopes that she might have an answer to all my questions. There is no answer, or an easy to follow recipe. No preparation either. It can get better, and sadly, it can get worse as well.

I was actually ashamed of seeing his comment that he made in the gym as a solid step forward. I've never acted like this before, not for anyone. Simply put, I don't let people treat me like shit. Or, perhaps, that's just a theory I believe in. Chris certainly doesn't treat me with respect, and Deeks is following his lead. If this keeps on going, I'll forget who I fucking am!

"Ems, it's one thing to grieve and another to act the way he does." Mandy said. Sadly, she's right.

"You tell him that, okay?" I snapped at her. With a deep breath, I reminded myself that she is the last one I should blame for all of this." Look, it's not like I can start a civil war in the office. I don't want to push it. He can have his time, I'm fine." I said.

"I don't know. I wish I can help you, but I'm running low on ideas. The only thing I can think of is something you wouldn't want to do. You know, organize some sort of get together, like a barbecue or something, so he can be there too." She said.

"Absolutely not." I disagreed in a heartbeat.

"I knew you would say that, so I wasn't going to suggest it." She reminded me, and I smiled." But in all honesty, that would be a good idea. You would show that you're friendly and fun, maybe they would be more relaxed around you. And if all else fails, you'd win them over with your cooking skills."

I rolled my eyes. I'm good, but I'm not that good. And I'm not a dinner party host. I'm more of a "Grab yourself a beer and let's watch Formula 1" type of girl.

"I'm not sure, but I think we're not yet ready for that." I said. Actually, I am 100% sure that we are not ready for that. Not me, not them. Besides, it's one thing to be friendly and another to kiss their asses.

"Well, like I've said, I don't have any other ideas." She snapped back at me. It caught me by surprise, since Mandy was always the one of us who was more calm and collected. I haven't said a thing, I just served us food." It pisses me of to see you like this and to not be able to help you. It makes me feel like I've failed you as a sister." she admitted. Whoa, this is not going the way I've expected it to.

"Mandy, what the hell? What makes you say that?" I asked, but she was quiet and she didn't even look at me." You haven't failed me as a sister. Not now, not ever."

"I did, and you know it." She said." I screwed up, big time. I moved away, chasing my childish dreams and left you behind to deal with Mom. That ended up costing you a child Emily! I have failed you. You can keep denying it, but I know the truth, so you can stop sugarcoating it. I have left you stranded when you needed me the most, and now I can't even help you with this stupid thing!" She yelled. I have never seen my sister like this. She's had her fair share of bad times, but I've never seen her like this.

"Okay, I have no idea where this is coming from, but you need to stop it." I said, my voice strict and for the first time ever, I was the older sister. I've stepped into her role." I've made my own decisions. You didn't force them on me. If taking care of our sick mother was what cost me my custody over Logan, than that says something about my ex, not you. I did what needed to be done. One of us had to do it, and I wasn't about to let you leave your whole life behind like I am doing now. I will never blame you for it, because there is nothing to blame you for. You were always here for me Mandy, and you are here for me now. So drop the guilt."

"Things could have been different." She said.

"Of course they could have been different! If I didn't met Chris in the first place, who knows where I would be now. If mom and dad didn't meet, we wouldn't even be here! What happened in the past is in the past. So stop beating yourself up about it and stop making me quote Lion King." I said, running out of my breath for the last part. It made her laugh, though.

"What are we going to do about this situation you're in now?" She asked, and I shrugged.

"I wish I knew. Oh my, this is good. I still have it in me." I said, my voice full of pride once I tried my stew and realized it's as good as it used to be. It's the small things that bring a smile on your face after a rather shitty day." I don't know what I'm gonna do. I only know that Logan will be my priority now, as he always was." I said.

"He's still not letting you see him?" Mandy asked, and I shook my head." Do you at least talk?"

"We do. I mean, Chris is being an idiot. The whole reason I moved here was because of Logan. He knows it and that's why he's doing this. I'll never understand how did he become so evil." I said.

"Yeah. I remember when we used to like him." Mandy laughed, and I couldn't help but join in.

"He wasn't like this, that's for sure." I said, my mind wandering back to the good times. As much as I hate to admit it, I really did love him. Now it seems like it was in a different lifetime. It also seems like a big mistake. But if I didn't fall for him like I did, I never would have ended up with Logan. And I love that boy more than anything.

"What happened with that guy you used to date, Greg was it?" Mandy asked, and I started laughing.

"Oh Mandy, that one ended before it had a chance to start." I said, pausing to take another mouthful of food." I'm not in a good place. I haven't been in a good place for a very long time. I don't have the energy that dating needs."

"I was talking more about sex." She said, a smug smile on her face. Of course she did. Typical Mandy.

"Nope, that wouldn't solve my problems either. I can't afford to get emotionally invested in anything, not even in a one night stand. Besides, I don't have the time." I added. It's always time. With my work and with Logan, I barely have any left. Chris is, obviously, deeply troubled by it, and has decided to make things easier for me. But being a Special Agent and a mother, that's never a good combo in dating. I'm too much work. Hell, I wouldn't even want to date me!

"In that case, I have nothing." Mandy said, lifting her hands in the air, just to emphasize the fact that she was giving up. I'm not sure if she's giving up on helping me, or giving up on me in general.

"It'll get better. It certainly can't get any worse." I murmured under my breath, and she shook her head.

"You've just jinxed it. Just wait and see." She warned but, but now, I was the one shaking my head. Well, if I've jinxed it, then bring it on.

Let's play a game, me and you, universe? Let's see just how worse it can get, shall we?


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys! Here's chapter 5. I'm not going to spoil too much, but Deeks and Emily actually talk in this one. A little bit. I'm taking it slow with this one, and with all they've been through, I think it's understandable. Now, I have something to say to you all. I appreciate you giving this story a chance. I hope I'm doing it justice. One review made me actually sad, and I couldn't respond to it privately, so I'm doing it now, even though Guest said he or she can't read the story any longer. If you are reading this, thank you for at least giving it a try. While I realize it was horrible to do this to Deeks, and to the Densi shippers (Again, I'm one of them, so I get it), I had this in my head, it didn't want to leave, and I'm doing this. It makes me happy to see that some of you really enjoy it. I'm an open minded person, and if you gave this a shot without judging it because it's an AU, I thank you for the bottom of my heart. And one more thing. Kensi might not be a prominent character in this story, but she's there. Believe me, she is there. And even if Deeks is getting a new partner, maybe someday a friend or a romantic interest, Kensi will be there, and I will mention here often.**

 **Anyways, I hope you enjoy. Review, Favorite, Follow, feel free to send me suggestions or ideas, and expect a new chapter in two, three days' time.**

…

…

…

"Clark?" Callen called, and I looked up from my lap top screen." Are you ready for a case?" he asked.

"Are you kidding me?" I asked, and I genuinely had to stop myself from jumping from my seat, out of pure excitement. We're on the move. Finally! Took them long enough! " What do we have?"

"That's the problem, we don't know," he said. I'm definitely not used to the way they work." We'll hold the forth, and try to find out something from here. You and Deeks are going on a stakeout," he said.

"So, you're sending us to monitor someone, without actually telling us what we should look out for?" I asked slowly, waiting for him to interrupt me and tell me it's all a joke. What the hell? Who does that?!

"Yes." he said. Well, at least he was aware of the fact that this is stupid. You can't put someone under surveillance without knowing if they are actually guilty of something! And if you are doing it, and we are doing it, apparently, then you have to brief your agents. We need to know what to expect!

Who am I to question him? He's the leader of this team, and since she hasn't interrupted him so far, I have a feeling Hetty gave him a green light. If he says we're going on a stakeout, we're going.

"Okay," I said, and shrugged." Where's Deeks?" I asked.

"I'm here," he said, walking over to the two of us." You ready?" he asked, and I nodded. I put my cell in my pocket, and checked the gun on my belt. That's it, I'm ready to go. My first case here, in LA.

"Good luck," Callen said, and I nodded. I wasn't sure if he meant good luck with Deeks, or good luck in general. Deeks was waiting for me by the door, so I hurried up. It was still the same with the two of us. Communication was down to the minimum; he wasn't interested, and I wasn't going to push it.

"You don't have a car, right?" he asked, and I shook my head. Nell swears it will be here tomorrow." We're gonna use mine then. You've ever been on a stakeout?" he asked. Seriously? Does he think I'm an amateur? Who's the Special Agent out of the two of us?! I didn't even bother to answer him. Not only is he not in the mood, but now I'm not in the mood either. All the excitement I felt for a new case has flown out of the window. The only words I said to him were "Lots of milk, one sugar" when he stopped to get us coffee.

It's one thing to not like me, and another to disrespect me as an Agent. I'm not a rookie; I was done with that years ago. Here, I might be the new one, but I am not new in the business. And he's an asshole.

Stakeouts are the worst. Even paperwork looks appealing when the other option is being stuck in a car for hours. It can be fun, if you're partnered up with the right person. Tony and I always found a way to kill time, and no one could make me laugh as much as Max did. I've never missed him more than I do now, sitting in this car with Deeks.

The suspect we were watching was having lunch at a café, and we were stationed in the parking lot across the street. It was annoying to not have any idea of what the guy has done, but I kept my mouth shut. He looked as if he was having just a regular outing, but this is just the beginning. We're probably going to have to follow him for hours.

Silence wasn't even the worst part. God, I wish it was. The worst part, by far, was the music.

I don't even know what was playing; I just know that I don't like it. I fought the urge to change the station or just shut it down completely. While I'm on his territory, I have to play by his rules. That is why I can't wait to get my hands on a new car.

I've never tried to hide the fact that I have plenty of flaws. One of them was the fact that I cannot last long without a cigarette. Especially if I'm drinking coffee, like I am now. When I'm in the office, I follow the rules, and I rarely sneak out, but this was a different situation. I was just about to light one when I noticed Deeks looking at me in disbelief.

"What?" I asked with a cigarette in my mouth, half ready for the "you are killing yourself" speech.

"There's no smoking in the car," he said.

"It's a convertible," I said, stating the obvious. The roof was down. There was no chance in hell that my cigarette would bother him too much. He shook his head, not willing to give in." Fine," I snapped, and got out of the car. I walked around, and sat down on the trunk. Let's see if he'll say something about this too! His car, his rules. I need to keep telling myself that.

A part of me was hoping that he will suddenly realize that he's not nice and that he should change that. It was just a tiny part of me, but the hope was still there. It was crushed by the end of my cigarette break. I contemplated throwing the bud on his back seat, but I decided not to. Unlike him, I'm nice.

"Is there any change?" I asked as I was getting in the car, since I had my back turned from the suspect.

"Nope," he answered.

It's been two hours, and the guy was still sitting there. We were still completely ignoring each other, and I was still stepping out of the car whenever I wanted to light one. Callen and Sam must be having fun.

Game of thrones theme song was what snapped me back out of my daydreaming; it was my ringtone.

"Clark," I answered, as I always do when I don't recognize the number calling me.

"Hey mom," Logan said, and he caught me by surprise. I'm usually the one who calls him.

"Hey honey. What's going on?" I asked. It was in my nature to suspect the worst. Every single mother is like that, and the fact that I'm a Special Agent is not helping me. There are too many worst case scenarios playing in my head whenever he calls me all of a sudden.

"Nothing, I just wanted to talk to you." he said, and I immediately smiled." What are you doing?"

"I'm working," I said, not wanting to get into details. He's not that young anymore, he knows what I do for a living, but I would rather have him think that I'm in the office, surrounded by a mountain of paperwork. He never asked too many questions, but I knew he liked my job. Chris was upset when Logan chose to take me to Career day in his old school. One of the best moments of my life.

"Oh, I won't bother you then," He said.

"No, no, no, I can talk," I interrupted him, not wanting to lose a single chance to spend time with him, even if it's just talking on the phone." What have you been up to?" I asked.

"I just finished my homework. I'm going to tell Dad that I need your help with math. The teacher gave us a lot of things to do, and you help me better than Dad does," he said. What Logan doesn't know is that I actually suck at math. He'll realize that soon enough, when his homework gets a bit more difficult.

"You do that, honey. You know I would love to help," I said, already excited about a chance to see him. Chris will have to give in. He's not the greatest parent in the world, but he does love Logan. I can hold a lot of things against him, but I could never call him out for not caring about his son.

"Call me when you're done with work. I love you," He said. My heart melted, as it does every time.

"I love you too. Talk to you later, okay? I love you honey," I said, and we both hung up. If I'm lucky enough, Logan will be the one who convinces Chris to let him spend some time with me.

I am not the only one who's missing someone. He still needs me, he still needs his mom. And not just to help him with math. I need to get him back. At the very least, I need to have joint custody. Chris can have his money, I don't want it and I don't need it, but I won't let him take my son away for good. As soon as I truly settle down here, in Los Angeles, I will file for custody. Nothing will change my mind.

"You know, it's not exactly professional to talk to your boyfriend while we're on a stakeout," Deeks said, surprising me first of all by speaking at all, and then with the words he used. I can't believe him.

"I was talking to my son," I said, this time, not trying to hide my anger. He looked at me in surprise, but I didn't look away. He has just crossed the invisible line. And he could see that. For the first time since I've met him, he didn't look completely uninterested. He knows he took it too far with this one.

"I didn't know you have a son," he said.

"You didn't bother finding out," I said. I'm not backing down now, and that surprised him. He can see this as banter, as a calling out, even as an argument, I do not care anymore. I'm done with playing nice. You treat me like crap? Right back at you! I don't care how many girlfriends died on him, how many partners he has changed over the years. He is not the only one dealing with a shit load of problems. If for a second, only for a second, he stops considering himself to be the center of the world, he would notice that.

I'm done. I'm done with being the kind and friendly girl who doesn't speak up. From now on, I'm playing this game my way. And he can either accept it, or leave. I'm not doing it his way anymore.

"The suspect's getting in his car," he said, and I turned to look at him. He was waiting. For what?

"Well, you're the one who's driving, aren't you?" I asked, and he finally looked away, starting the car.

We ended up just down the street from the suspect's house. So far, the guy hasn't done anything remotely suspicious. With the lack of information, I am already imagining him having a meth lab in the basement of his house. Since we can't exactly barge in there without a solid reason, I was still stuck in the car with Deeks. He was checking in with the rest of the team, and their directions were simple: Keep watching him.

It was too quiet now. Tensions are even higher than they were before, and that makes the silence even less bearable. And there was no music, not even bad music. We can't afford to draw attention to ourselves, and that pretty much means we will be miserable by the end of the day.

"Don't," Deeks said as I was just about to leave the car so that I can light another cigarette." You don't have to get out of the car, just light it here," he said, and I raised my eyebrows.

"You sure?" I asked. The roof was up now. Why the sudden change of heart?

"Yeah," he said, again, avoiding any sort of eye contact. Well, who am I to disagree? I was thoughtful enough to keep my hand out of the car, and to direct the smoke to the window.

"Look, I'm sorry," he said, and I looked at him in surprise." I shouldn't have assumed that you were being unprofessional. There usually is an explanation, you had one, and I'm sorry," he said. I don't know what left a bigger impression on me, the fact that he was actually apologizing, or the fact that he's just apologizing for something he said, and not the way he's been treating me since I got here.

"Thank you." I said. He's not exactly forgiven, but I'm not going to hold this against him. Not this incident, that is. I'm still very much angry with him in general. And I'm standing by my decision. I'm not going to let him treat me like crap. He can hate me as much as he wants, but there is a line." Look, Deeks, I know you don't want me here," I said once I realized that I'll probably blow up if I keep this in me any longer. Now he was the one who looked surprised." And I'm not particularly happy about it either. But I'm here. And I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. If that means that we have to work together, then I'll do it. But I kind of need you to do it too. We need to find middle ground here," I said.

"Look, I know…" he started, but he got a text, and that distracted him. Whenever it seems like we took one step forward we go two, three steps back." It's Callen. Hetty wants as back at the office," he said.

"Drive on," I said. Whatever progress we might have been making was cut short. At least he knows how I feel about this. I don't need a friend, I need a partner. Friendship used to be a good bonus, but I can live without it. The only thing I truly need is trust. If I don't have that, I'm risking my life, and I don't want to die anytime soon. Deeks is not an idiot; he should know that he's risking his life too. There is nothing worse than poor communication skills between partners.

"Well, today was a complete waste of time," he commented as he pulled up on the office parking lot.

"You've got that right," I agreed. Sam, Callen and Hetty were waiting for us." What do we know?" I asked them.

"You tell us," Sam said.

"Well, he eats very slowly," Deeks told them. Who'd have known? He can make a joke.

"He had lunch with a girl, and then he went home," I elaborated, aware that Deeks didn't exactly give them the right information." Why were we even monitoring him for?"

"He was suspected of being involved in drug sales," Hetty said." It was believed that he will meet up with his provider today, but it would appear our suspicions were wrong," She said.

"So, he's the wrong guy?" Deeks asked.

"It would appear so, Mr. Deeks," Hetty said.

"Well, this was a productive work day," he mumbled, and I couldn't blame him." I'm going to the gym," he yelled back at us as he was walking away. I turned to look at Hetty. Something isn't right with this. All of them are acting strange. They look guilty and slightly smug at the same time.

"What's the deal with this?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" Callen asked. He looked too innocently confused for it to be believable.

"You just made up the whole case, didn't you?" I asked as it dawned on me." The poor guy did nothing and you made this whole thing up. Am I right?" I demanded an explanation. I'm not sure how I would take this if Hetty wasn't here. She's the authority figure here, and I respect that, but Sam and Callen would have gotten what they deserved. If they are the ones to blame. Hetty still is the mastermind.

"I do not lie, Miss Clark," Hetty said, but I still wasn't buying it." The man you were monitoring is, in fact, under suspicion of drug abuse and distribution. He needed to be checked out. It was highly unlikely, but we are thorough Miss Clark," she said, a small smile on her face.

"Indeed you are. So you three, and please, correct me if I'm wrong, used this slight suspicion as an excuse to get Deeks and I to work together?" I asked. They were all in on it. Only two persons left in the dark about this were Deeks and I. And the reason is obvious. Hell, they're not even sorry.

"It's better to get it out of the way now, than to test your teamwork abilities during a shootout." Sam said. It does make sense, I have to admit that. It's just that I would have rather been in on it.

"Well, we have a poor partnership indeed," I informed them." I don't know what you had planned, but it didn't work. Give us time. We'll get there," I said. Hopefully, I wasn't lying.

…

…

…

Today was a long day. I wanted to get into bed as soon as I walked into my house, but I had to save whatever energy I had left in me. Logan convinced Chris to drop him off at my place, so that he could spend the night here. And I'm never going to be too tired for my own son.

I'm gonna help him with his homework, and then we'll have a game night. I don't get much time with him these days, so I'm going to use it the best way I can. If I'm lucky, he can use his powers over Chris again, and convince him to let him stay with me for more than just one night at a time.

The moment I heard the doorbell, I ran out. Not even looking at Chris, I grabbed my son in a bear hug.

"I've missed you, honey," I said as I was spinning him around.

"Ew! Mom, easy with the kisses!" he yelled with a giggle, and I put him back on the ground.

"Come on, say goodbye to dad, and wait for me inside, I need to talk to him." I said. I watched as he hugged Chris, and then ran in the house." Easy with the running!" I yelled after him. Boys.

"He's missed you," Chris said. Oh, really?

"Big surprise there," I snapped back, and he rolled his eyes." Mandy and I will drop him off to school tomorrow. Should we pick him up too?" I asked, hoping that I'll get to spend more time with him.

"No, I'll do it. Are you sure Mandy's going to drive you?" he asked. In all honesty, I have no idea where he gets these ideas. I was always the more responsible parent to Logan, even when we were married.

"Chris, I'm not going to make my child miss school. Relax. Now, are you going to be more considerate about the time I get to spend with him or are you going to continue this way?" I asked him.

"You know what I think about that," he said, as if that was a good reason for anything. If he deems it unfitting, than that's the end of discussion. He's always been an inconsiderate donkey.

"I'm still his mother. You can try and compensate, but I'm always going to be here. You won't take him away from me," I whispered, because I didn't want Logan to hear us.

"I'm not trying to do that Emily. You're being paranoid, all over again,"

"Yeah, and my paranoia is what brought us here. Goodbye Chris," I said, and I closed the door right in front of his nose. Not only is he an idiot, but he also blames me for everything. I'm responsible for the divorce, I'm responsible for Logan banging on about how he wants to become a cop someday, I'm even the one to blame for the bad weather!

Unlike Chris, I didn't put myself on a pedestal. Sure, I wasn't an angel, but we are both equally guilty. It's just that unlike him, I'm ready to admit it.

I'll never understand how he changed that quickly to someone so unrecognizable. It still blows my mind.

"Hey little man, you want to see the house?" I asked, and Logan grabbed my hand. I took him on the tour of the place, showing him every room in the house, including the one I intended for him." I didn't want to redecorate without hearing what you want to do with it. You know, colors and everything," I said. It's going to be his room, no matter how much time he gets to spend in it. It should be arrange in a way that he wants it to be. And this time around, I won't try and paint the room myself.

"Blue," Logan said, a frown on his face as he was considering his options." Or green. I don't know,"

"Well, how about two blue walls, and two green?" I suggested, and his face lit up.

"Can we do that?" He asked, and I nodded with a big smile on my face. He hugged me." Mom, you're awesome," he said, and I giggled. Damn right I'm awesome! I'm a rock star awesome on a Mom level.

"Come on, let's go do that homework of yours, so that we can have some fun later," I said, and he ran out of the room." Jesus, Logan, easy with the running!" I yelled, once again, but I couldn't help but smile. It's going to take a lot of effort to not let him have me wrapped around his little finger. I try not to be too lenient with him, so that he can't take advantage of the fact that I don't get to see him as much as I wanted to, and that I will fulfill every one of his wishes now that I am with him. But Logan's not some kind of evil mastermind. I doubt he thinks that way, and even if he does, he still hasn't tried. I have always managed to be in between of a strict mom and a cool mom. He's never done anything that might make me turn into Momzilla, but I'm always prepared for any kind of situation.

I helped him with his math, and then we played Heads up for about an hour. When the excitement died, we started talking. First about his school and new friends. Sadly, I wasn't the only one caught by surprise with this transition to a different city, state, climate… But Logan seemed to be dealing with it a whole lot better than I was. He's a friendly kid, and his classmates were a bit more warming than Deeks was.

I swear, that kid has a sixth sense. He didn't beat around the bush when asking about my new job.

"What is your new partner like?" he asked, just like that.

"Um, he's called Deeks. Now that I think about it, I don't know his first name," I said, realizing that I actually have no idea what's Deeks's name. It looks like he wasn't the only one not bothering to find anything out." He… He doesn't really like me," I said. Who knows, maybe Logan has a solution?

"Why?" he asked, and I was touched by the genuine surprise he showed after hearing this.

"Well, you can't get along with everyone. He's been through a lot recently, and I'm guessing he just doesn't like new people in general. But it's alright," I said, not wanting to worry him too much.

"Do you need me to talk to him?" he asked, and before I knew it, I was laughing like a maniac." I mean it. He needs to be nice with my mom," Logan said, but I was out of it. I could only see him, trying to give Deeks a lecture. The funny thing is, I think that could actually work. But we're not doing it.

"I think I can handle him myself, but if I need help, I'm calling you," I said, and he hugged me." Come on, you need to get ready for bed. Aunt Mandy will be driving us tomorrow,"

"Will I get to spend more time with you now?" he asked. As if I didn't feel bad it now as it is, he had that puppy eye look on him. Too bad that he's using it on the wrong parent.

"As far as I'm concerned, you can see me every day. That's up to your Dad honey, you know that. But you should know I'm here. Whatever you need. Any time, day or night. But you still need to brush your teeth, because it's getting late," I said.

Once I put him to bed, it was really difficult for me to actually leave his room. Half the night, I was tossing and turning in my own bed, not being able to sleep. It felt like wasting valuable time. I don't how much longer will I be able to keep this up. I need to rush this whole settling down thing if I want to get custody. I'll probably lose once again, but there's no way I'm not going to try. And I'm going to keep trying until I get my son back, or at least joint custody. After everything, I deserve that much.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey there! It won't take long this time around. Since I can't respond to gest reviews, and since I can't understand more than 5 words in French, I did my guessing and consulted google translate. And Guest, I'd like to thank you for reading, and I promise you, Deeks has no problem with second hand smoking, but, in fact, has a problem with Emily :D. Although, I admit, you're right about her not being a picture perfect role model for Logan, but I'm gonna stick with it. But I thank you for your kind words (not just you, but everyone else as well) and support. This caravan's not stopping just yet! :)**

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…

"Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!" I yelled, and in the heat of the moment, I pretended to hug the hood of my new car. Finally! Mandy won't have to play my driver anymore! And it's a really good car.

"Hey, Schumacher?" Eric yelled over the parking lot, and I just waved back at him." You're needed in the Ops Center!" he shouted. Finally, a real case! Or maybe this time around, I'll be stuck in a car with Deeks for a longer period of time. Whatever it is, I have to do it, so I didn't waste my time, and I followed Eric in the house and up the stairs to the Ops Center. Sam, Deeks, Callen and Nell were already there.

"What do we have?" Callen asked, now that we were all finally here.

"Eduardo Morales," Nell said, and the ID of Eduardo Morales was on the screen." Born and raised here, in LA. Owner of a bar called Morales. Original," she added, and I couldn't help but smile.

"He's always been a bit of a trouble maker, but nothing too serious. Drug possessions, assault," Eric said.

"Wow, Eric, what do you consider serious?" I asked. I felt a strange pride when I saw the others laughing, Eric too. Even Deeks managed to look slightly amused, which really was a progress now.

"Eduardo is the primary suspect in the murder of Juan Castillo, who was involved with his sister, Maria Morales," Nell said.

"Ah, the modern Romeo and Juliet. How does this fall under our jurisdiction?" I asked.

"Juan Castillo, as in, Lieutenant Juan Castillo," Eric explained. One of ours.

"Do we have anything on him, any proof?" Sam asked. We just have to arrest the guy. It's as simple as that. Sure, he might resist arrest, but we've all faced that before.

"So far, no. Maria was a witness," Eric said. Oh crap." It was a classic execution, but she was with him,"

"She's covering for her brother?" I asked.

"That's very likely," Deeks agreed." Wouldn't be the first time. A girl, torn between her family and the man she loves. If she lost one of them, at least she can keep the other one safe," he said. It makes sense, but I don't think she's too happy about the situation that she's in.

"She might be quiet for her brother's sake, but I doubt he's in her good books now," I said.

"Getting Maria to talk would be the easiest way," Callen said. Will it? She might be angry with her brother, but I doubt she'll turn him in. If I were in here shoes, I would, but I work for the government. I was raised with a strong sense of right and wrong, I fight for the good side. I'm different. With her brother's past crimes, the whole family probably has a strong distaste of law enforcement of any kind.

"She was already questioned, Mr. Callen," Hetty said and I jumped in surprise. I didn't even notice when she walked in, and there she was, right behind me. I've said it before, that woman either has super powers, or she's an alien." She needs to open up and trust someone," she said. Oh my. Undercover.

"She won't confide in a guy, not after she just lost a boyfriend," Sam said. And he's right. I felt their eyes slowly turning to me. Am I up for undercover work? I've done it before, millions of times. I'm good at it. But that was back when I was on my own turf. I've been here for less than two weeks. I don't even know the city, let alone have a decent backstory about how I was born and raised here. On the other hand, I'm good at what I do for a reason. If I try hard enough, I might just do the job, fast and easy.

"I could do that," I said, thinking that they need some sort of confirmation from me." I'll just have to be careful. Maybe even say I just moved here. It's better to say that than to be caught in a lie in the middle of the mission," I said. It will be believable. I just don't know how will I infiltrate their lives.

"What would be the easiest way for you to get close to them?" Sam asked. I had to think about it.

"I used to be a waitress. Perhaps I can go and look for a job? It's a long shot, but if they need a helping hand, I'll get in. I'm just not sure if they'll accept me. I mean, I'm white, I look like I went to a private school and I'm not a local. I'm not sure if it'll work," I admitted. I have to be honest with them. One of the biggest lessons I've learned in this job is not to make promises you can't keep. And I won't promise them anything. Of course, I'll do my best, but we can never know if the shit will hit the fan, so to speak.

"Oh, Miss Clark, we can make it work. Trust me," Hetty said, with her signature smirk.

"Then let's do it," I said with a small smile on my face. As nervous as I am, this is an actual case. Actual undercover work. At least things got a whole lot more interesting.

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...

Whenever I go undercover, there's one thing I do first. I call three people. Mandy, Chris, and my son. I tell them not to call, under any circumstances. I give them a number they can call, so I can listen to the messages when I can, but only, and only if it's urgent. Or they would call Gibbs or my current partner. Somehow, I had a feeling that giving them Deeks's number was not a good idea. When I have a chance to contact them, I will do so, but under no circumstances should they call me. We've never had an incident before. They know my life usually depends on whether or not they follow the rules I give them, and even Chris was always considered enough.

Second thing I do is that I create a back story. I'm Elena Foster, 27, born and raised in Washington, just moved to LA. Former painkillers addict, was on the street for 4 years. I've turned my life around and decided to start brand new, in Los Angeles. My boyfriend died after a deal gone bad. Boyfriend's name is Sam. That's pretty much it. At least, that's all I have for now.

Hetty made me change into a white tank top and jeans. It was time to drop the agent look. That's why Nell is giving me a tattoo right now. Temporary, of course. I'll probably do a real one someday, but this is temporary. As soon as this case is closed, Elena Foster is dead. But until then, I'm Elena Foster.

There's not much you can change about yourself to make you look as if you used to be homeless. It all comes down to attitude and behavior, and that's on me. I can do what I can to make myself look tough, but that can only do so much. I doubt my tattoo will win them over.

"I'm telling you, none of you guys look like you can be related to me in any way," I said to the three of them. They were insisting to infiltrate the Morales group as well, but what would be believable?

"Callen, maybe?" Sam asked, but I shook my head.

"I'm supposed to be rough and tough. My blue eyed big brother will not do the trick," I said.

"Boyfriend?" Callen asked, and I thought about it for a second. In that case, looks don't play the part.

"Sure, that would be possible, but I don't know if it's a good idea," I said, deciding to be 100% honest with them." I'm still new here. We've never worked a real case together before, let alone undercover. There's still too much to learn. I'm not sure whether or not we would be believable," I said.

Sam, Deeks, Callen, it doesn't matter which one of them would be my fake soul mate. We barely know each other. It doesn't matter how well we learn the backstory, if there's no chemistry, we're done. It would be much easier if one of them can pass as my brother, but that's not a realistic option.

"You're not going in there alone," Deeks said. Am I dreaming or has this actually happened? Is it possible that he's expressing actual concern about me? No, it's not me. It's the case. He doesn't want to jeopardize it. Which is understandable. Neither do I." I'm gonna be your fake boyfriend," he said, and I turned around to look at him. Nope, he's not joking. Did he get brainwashed or something?

"Deeks, don't get this the wrong way, but… I don't know any of you. Least of all you," I said. When it's my life we're playing with, I'm not going to hold my tongue. How does he think we can pretend to be madly in love when we can't even pretend to remotely get along? Although, we never tried. Just because we don't even like each other doesn't mean we can't pretend very well. We probably can, if we try hard enough. I'm just not sure I want to risk it.

"Do you think Callen could manage a slightly bad boy better than I would?" he asked me.

"Actually, yes," I said, and to my surprise, I made Callen, Sam and Nell laugh. I wasn't trying to put Deeks down, not at all. I just think that Callen is attractive and has that mystery quality about him." Hey, I was just trying to defend Callen's skills, not put down yours," I explained, not sure if he believes me or not.

"Look, if anyone should do it, it's the two of you," Callen said. Yeah, just push me under the bus Callen, please, I wanted that all along." It's about time you learn how to work together," he said. It's really hard for me to ignore the strong possibility that I will die on this mission. I don't want Deeks in on this. I really, _really_ don't. But do I really have a choice? Do I?

"Fine," I announced with a sigh. You can even hear in my voice that I'm giving up." But we need to get working with the backstories. It needs to be believable," I said. Now, I was dead serious.  
"We will, don't worry," he said. I barely know him. No, that's an understatement. I don't know him at all. And I was thrown in here, and told to play nice. I was the kid who desperately tried to share toys, and he was the one who kept all of his toys in his sandbox and waved me a middle finger whenever I tried to play with him. It's scary, and it's annoying. Especially now, when our lives depend on it.

For some reason I can't quite explain, I believed him. For the first time, I thought he was genuine. That he means it, and that he will try. I don't know why, but I did. Perhaps because he finally looked at me in a normal way, not with dislike or annoyance. He looked… normal. Fine. Like he should have been from day 1, in my opinion.

Or, perhaps, it was the fact that I had no other options? What can I do, keep saying to myself that I'll be dead because of him? No. I have to trust him. I have to trust him and hope it all ends well.

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…

"You'll be able to hear me at all times, but I won't be able to hear you. If it's something very, very important, text. I'll be able to pin it on my boyfriend," I told Deeks, as I was struggling to attach a mic on my bra strap. It's easier when I'm wearing a button up shirt, I can just attach the damn thing to the back of the button." You'll be listening, so you decided when to drop in. I trust your judgment," I said.

"It goes both ways, I need your to tell me if I should come in, charging. We need a distress word," he said.

"Baby oil?" I asked, and Deeks's eyes went wide.  
"Baby oil? Really?" he asked.

"And what are the chances that I'll use baby oil in a conversation?" I asked. Sure, it might sound stupid, but it won't slip out and cause mayhem before we need one." Fine, then it's vampire," I said.  
"Vampire?" he asked, and he looked in shock once again.

"Okay, fine, you pick the damned distress word," I snapped back at him, already pissed off.

"No, no, vampire's fine," he said." You're weird," he added. I turned to look at him, but he didn't seem frightened by my stare this time around. It was like he had put a lot of thought in it, and once he decided that I'm, in fact, weird, he was 100% sure of it, and not even my stare can change his mind.

"That I am," I agreed, but was too concerned to smile." God, I don't even know if this will work,"

"If they need a waitress, it will," Deeks said. I was genuinely surprised with how reassuring he was now.

"And if they don't, we regroup?" I asked, and he nodded. "Okay then. Here goes nothing,"

"I'll see you later. And good luck." he said, and I nodded.

We had to park one block away from the bar, so that they can't see us. I walked, and Deeks followed me in his car. He stopped, deciding to keep his distance, which was a good idea. If he's going to walk in in a couple of hours, identifying himself as my boyfriend, it's better that no one sees him keeping surveillance on the bar.

Callen was drinking coffee in a café across the street, and i could see Sam pretending to read a book a few tables down from Callen. Our contact is one sided, which is not something I enjoy, but if I had an ear piece, my cover would be blown. We could only get away with a microphone.

"Good luck guys," I whispered, just to check if they can hear me or not. Callen nodded, and Sam looked up at me, just for a fraction of a second. We're good. And now, it's my time to shine.

I walked into the bar, with the confidence my alias had, not me, Emily. The bar was pretty much empty, but we knew I would find Eduardo in here. It wasn't a hunch; we had a couple of eyes on the place during the day, as I was getting ready to go full undercover.

There was Eduardo, one of his friends, also known to the police, and one guy who was, I suppose, a customer. As the place was empty as it was, of course my entrance drawn attention. Using the face confidence I had, I walked over to the bar, and smiled to Eduardo.

"Need help around here?" I asked. I was supposed to be smiling and incredibly charming. A hard to resist kind of girl. Since I've always seen myself as nothing more or less than average, I was aware that it was all in my attitude. He needs to like me. Not want me, or fall in love for me, but at least like me. And at the same time, he can't like me too much, since my fake boyfriend will be joining us later, if this all works out. So far so good, but he didn't look particularly interested. He was unfazed.

"Looking for work?" he asked. He didn't say no straight away, which really is a good thing.

"Yup. I'm new in town. Trying to find a job, and well, waitressing and bartending is pretty much the only thing I can do," I said, followed by that ancient trick of playing with my hair. Well, I just ran my hand through it, and put it away behind my ear, since playing with it would probably be too transparent. While this whole thing depends on whether or not he has a good first impression of me, I'm not supposed to be some dumb chick. Even my alias had more dignity than that.

"Are you any good?" Eduardo asked, and I shrugged.

"How about you give me a go behind the bar, and then you tell me?" I asked. He seems to be the classic macho type of a guy. Of course, I may be wrong, but I was trained to read people. Chances of me being wrong are very low. I need to keep a balance right now; he needs to like me, but I can't be the girl who just nods her head and says yes. Those type of men like a challenge, no matter the situation.

"Fine," he said, and I smiled." You have two hours. Then we'll see," he said.

"Okay. I'm Elena, by the way," I said, as I walked over to stand behind the bar.

"Eduardo," he said with a nod.

"What are you drinking, Eduardo?" I asked.

"Beer," he answered, after a few seconds of thinking.

"Beer. You test my bartering skills with a beer?" I asked, and thankfully, I made him laugh. Good start Elena, good start.

"Well, you still have two more hours," he said, and I shrugged. If he wants a beer, he'll get a beer. It's been quite some time since I've been on this side of the bar, but it's similar to riding a bike. No matter how much time passes, you can never really forget it. Sure, it takes you a little while to pedal the way you did, but nothing too difficult. And serving beer was an easy start." You speak Spanish, Elena?" he asked.

"Un poco," I lied in a heartbeat. He won't risk anything if he knows I'm fluent in Spanish. If he thinks that I might not understand a word he says, he'll get more careless and underestimate me. And it's easier to pretend to understand one out of ten words than to pretend you don't understand at all. And my charm was apparently working; I made him laugh." But that's pretty much where my knowledge ends. Enjoy," I said as I put the beer in front of him. I still got it; it had just the right amount of foam. Like riding a bike.

"Where are you from?" he asked as soon as I started polishing already washed glasses.

"Washington. Moved here two weeks ago,"

"Why Los Angeles?" he asked. If this wasn't a job interview of sorts, I would have been worried that he was asking too much questions too soon. I hope the rest of the team isn't worried too much about this, because it's going good so far. But I've only been here a few minutes.

"My boyfriend lives here," I answered. The sooner I get that out there, the better." Besides, there was nothing for me back in Washington. Not for years," I added, just to give him a hint that things haven't been that peachy in my life. Unfortunately, I can't just put it all out there and be done with it. I need to be careful, and I need to plan every word that comes out of my mouth. In my everyday life, I'm struggling with that. I speak before I think, and while I don't see a problem with that, since I always speak the truth, it has gotten me in trouble before. But when it comes to work, it's a whole different story. Especially on a high risk assignment, like this one. No matter how much I make my alias like me, to make things easier, I'm still acting. I'm playing a part, and I don't have the luxury of being transparent. I may look like I'm having the time of my life, like I'm relaxed and carefree, but in my head, there's too many things going on. Planning, preparing, along with the fear that it all might go horribly wrong.

I was glad to have a distraction in the form of new customers. Trying to be a good waitress/bartender keeps my mind busy along with my hands. I drop my act for a little while, and have a bit of time to gather my thoughts.

No texts so far. That means that the guys have nothing to add to my act. While I think I'm managing this just fine, it is a relief to know that they are nearby, ready to intervene if needed. Like I said to Deeks, I trust their judgment. Not that I have any other options.

"What did you do in Washington? Other than bartending?" Eduardo asked.

"That's pretty much it. Never got a chance to go to college, battled my own demons, paid a price, and now I'm here," I answered. It's better not to go into details, unless he asks me to.

"What kind of demons?" he asked. So, he does want details.

"Oh, they had plenty of shapes and forms. Painkillers. But don't worry; I'm two years clean," I said. No matter how relatable I can be, he still wouldn't want an addict working at his bar. That's why I went for the former addict. Will power and what not.

"I know the feeling," Eduardo said. Relatable it is. The problem is, I only need him to sort of like me, so that I can work at this place. It's his sister that needs to relate to me. That's the whole point of this. And so far, she's nowhere to be seen. Perhaps this mission will be a waste of time? We knew it was a long shot, but it was the best chance we had.

I got my phone out, just to give Deeks some form of coverage.

 _Fake texting the address to my fake boyfriend. So far so good._

It took him 20 seconds to respond. He might be an ass, but at least he's efficient.

 _You're doing well. Coming in in 10._

As soon as I read the message, I started to freak out internally. We never agreed on a greeting. He's supposed to be my boyfriend; it's not like I can give him a high five! I mean, I can, but what will that look like? And I can't kiss him. If we talked about it, and agreed to do it, I wouldn't have a problem with it. It wouldn't be the first time I kiss someone undercover. But we didn't talk about it, and he would probably be completely blindsided by it, and that would be too obvious. And I don't want to ruin the little progress we've made.

There's a bar between us. I'll use the bar as my excuse. And when I, inevitably end up on the same side of it with him, I'll just casually put my arms around him. It's still better than a kiss.

This is why I wanted Callen to be my fake boyfriend, if I even needed one in the first place. With him, I don't have the tension. I doubt there exists a parallel universe where Deeks and I make a believable couple.

I was polishing glasses when Deeks walked in, with a big, charming smile I've never seen on him before. It was a nice change, even though it was fake. And it was easy to smile back at him.

"Hey there," he said, ignoring Eduardo and leaning on the bar, as if he was waiting for me to choose a form of greeting. And he probably was; he realized our mistake to, and he left it for me to choose.

"No PDA at work, babe," I said. Babe? Babe?! The word itself sounds completely wrong.

"Always playing by the rules," he said with a wink. God, he's good! He could have been an actor!

"This is my boss, Eduardo," I said, introducing them." Well, my possible boss," I corrected myself.

"Mike, nice to meet you," Deeks said as he was shaking Eduardo's hand.

"Eduardo," he said with a nod. If he doesn't like my fake boyfriend, he's not showing it. So far, he's been surprisingly friendly. But it's not that easy to forget that he's a murder suspect." And I am your boss. We need help, and you know the job," he said, and I couldn't help but smile. Good news, good news." Can you start tomorrow, around five in the afternoon?" he asked me.

"Sure. I'll see you tomorrow then. And thank you," I said as I walked over to stand with the two of them.

"Don't mention it," Eduardo insisted. He really is surprisingly nice.

"Nice to meet you man," Deeks said, and Eduardo nodded. Then, Deeks put his arm around my shoulder, and I put mine around his waist. We walked out of the bar, still hugging." Hetty's regrouping us," he said once we were safe to talk. We're taking my bike," he said, and I stopped.

"Bike?" I asked, and he nodded." Why?" I asked.

"Because we need to be believable, and my car isn't exactly cheap," he said, looking slightly confused." You don't like bikes?" he asked, once he realized that that was probably the source of my reluctance.

"Not particularly," I admitted. It's not that I don't like them. I just avoided them whenever I could." But I'll live. Let's just get away from here," I said, and he nodded. Now, it was safe to let him go.

I think we were believable enough. Not exactly Romeo and Juliet, but we were good. Especially Deeks. I never doubted his abilities as an agent, or a detective, to be precise, but I was impressed. He seemed likable. I wonder if he really was like that before I've arrived here. I'll probably never know.


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm back guys! It's been a difficult couple of days, with the new job and everything, but I still managed to get a bit of writing done. And I have a week off, so there'll be even more time for writing! Thank you for reading and telling me what you thing, especially OhBuddy66, who has given me plenty of tips and ideas, and good feedback. Like usual, the new chapter will be up in a couple of days. Enjoy ;)**

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"Are you alright?" he asked, and I shook my head. He already got off the bike, but I was still sitting on it, trying to remind myself that it was over. He's a good driver, it's not that. There's something about driving in the open, and not in a safe cage of a car, that makes me uncomfortable. I really don't like it. I was trying to find the words to form a simple sentence when Deeks started laughing. It was so sudden that it scared me. It was a nice change, but my ego came charging once I realized he's laughing at me.

"It's not funny," I said. Somehow, I managed to climb down from the beast I was sitting on. It's evil!

"Oh, I beg to differ," he said, still laughing.

"Do you mind telling me where the hell we are?" I asked, ignoring his laughter. I don't recognize this place. We're in the driveway of a pretty little house that has the whole white picket fence thing going on. I would have imagined that we would regroup in the office, or maybe at the boat house.

"This is one of our safe houses," he said, and I nodded. Makes sense. And it really is a nice house. I wouldn't mind living here; it's just that my new house seems to have a better view, and I'm all about the view." What we are doing here, I'm not sure. Hetty said to wait for them," he said. At this point, I just wanted to go home, take a shower and call my son if I can't see him. Sadly, it was work first.

"Lead the way," I said, and he listened to me. I followed him inside. I was right, the house really is nice. Not too big and not too small. I didn't have the time to look around. We needed to discuss this. I sat down on the couch in the living room, while Deeks leaned on an armchair." What do you think? A good day's work?" I asked. I didn't need to elaborate what I meant by that. He knows.

"Well, you're in. That's the most important thing," he said, and I nodded.

"He may be the target, but he's not the one we want." I said as I was taking of my mic. I'm done with being monitored today." I need to get close to his sister, but she hasn't made an appearance,"

"No surprise there. Would you like to spend time with your brother after he killed your boyfriend?" he asked. And he's right. This is not going to happen fast. At the very least, it's gonna take me a few days, and that depends on whether or not Maria Morales decides to make an appearance.

"I did what I could. I just need more opportunities," I said. I'm happy I'm working on a real case, but I know this is not going to go fast. They might count the days of the mission, but I'm counting the days without my son. I'm sure I can manage something, it's not like Eduardo is following me, but I won't risk it for nothing. At least I can talk to him." What the hell is taking them so long?" I asked. It wasn't exactly comfortable being here alone with him. Sure, we were playing our parts very well, but there was still tension. At this point, I can't even make out who is causing it. I can just as easily be the cause of it.

"They're driving our cars here," he said, and I nodded. Again, the uncomfortable silence.

"How long do you think it's going to take us to solve this?" I asked. In translation, how long do you think it will take me to convince a girl I've never even met to turn in her brother to the authorities?

"Could take us months. I doubt it, but it could," he said. Of course it could. That's why I need to give 110% of myself to this, every day, for as long as it takes. The sooner it's over, the better." I'm curious, what does your husband say about your job?" Deeks asked, and I did a double take.

"I'm sorry, what does my what say about my what?" I asked. Hell, I might have even imagined it!

"What does your husband say about your job, you know, when you go undercover?" He asked.

"What makes you think I'm married?" I asked, my question followed with a mildly hysterical laugh.

"You said you have a son," he said. He's confused. And I'm slightly annoyed.

"And that automatically makes me married?" I asked." A woman can't be single, divorced, in a long term relationship, artificially inseminated, but she has to be married in order to be a mother? It's the 21st century," I said. I felt as if I was defending the whole female gender. Sure, I used to be married, but that doesn't mean that I can't be divorced and a mother. With all the statistics we hear almost every day, me being married was a long shot.

"Jeez, sorry for asking," he said, his hands up as if he was surrendering. Great, now I'm the bad guy.

"Divorced," I mumbled after a short pause." As of two years ago, no one's waiting for me at home. Which, if you ask me, is easier. And yet it doesn't mean that's what I want," I said.

Ah, the curse of an agent, cop, detective. I applaud those who manage to make a marriage work. Parenthood is another story. But marriage, that's almost always doomed to fail in our case.

"And your son?" Deeks asked. This is… strange. I want to cringe at the mere thought of him trying to get to know me. I was already getting used to the cold treatment. It's almost as if I didn't want things to change. I'm not keeping any secrets. It just… seems unnatural.

"Lives with his dad," I said. Now is not the time to get into details. If he does want to do this whole partner bonding thing, we'll do it, but one step at a time. There are questions I need answers to as well as he does, but I'm not going to push it on him. Perhaps I won't even ask him at all. There's always the option on waiting for him to tell it all in his own time. Right now, that seems like a better option.

The doorbell saved me for sharing any other information with him. When Deeks returned, he was followed by Hetty, Callen and Sam. Showtime.

"How did we do?" I asked. I'm not looking for praise. I'm looking for advice. After all, they all have more experience than I do. Even if they didn't, I never was the one to go charging on my own. If we're a team, then we're a team. I need them to tell me if and when I screw up, just as I would tell them.

"You're in, that's all that matters," Callen said. It sounded almost as if I have failed to do something other than that. Maria was not there; I did all I could for today. Tomorrow, I'll have another chance.

"As I pointed out, if your brother kills your significant other, you won't exactly be overjoyed to be in his company," Deeks said.

"Perhaps the girl will be there tomorrow," Hetty said, and I nodded. Man, do I hope she'll be there.

"What do we do now? While we wait for her to show up and for us to have sleepovers, braid each other's hair and talk boys?" I asked. I'm going to lie to that girl. While I might be lying for a greater good, it will still be lies. There is no way I can feel good about myself when this mission's over.

"You keep your cover. However long it takes," Sam said. But I already knew that.

"I get that. I just want to know what should I do when my work day is over. Can I see my son, or should I keep him away from this as possible?" I asked. He wouldn't be in immediate danger. We're not dealing with a terrorist organization which will monitor me if I'm remotely suspicious. We're dealing with a guy who didn't want his sister to get married or something, and he thought killing someone was a solution.

"You need to keep your cover at all costs," Hetty said, and I nodded." You may be in contact with your family, but I suggest that you don't try to see them, Miss Clark. For their own safety. And since your alias has just moved to Los Angeles to be with her boyfriend, you and Mr. Deeks will be sharing a house for the time being," she said. How on Earth did I not see this one coming? Brilliant. Just, brilliant.

"This one?" Deeks asked, and Hetty nodded." Why wouldn't we be at her house, or mine? It would make things easier to one of us at least?" he suggested. If he wants to, I can stay at his place. I'm not calling my house a home just yet. It's completely the same to me if I stay here or in my house. And if it will make things easier for him, I'm fine with it.

"Your alias is a mechanic. He could never afford the house you own or the one Miss Clark owns for that matter," Hetty said. When she puts it like that, it does make sense." This one is affordable, and already furnished. I truly believe that the two of you can close this case. I have faith in the two of you. Do not let me down," she said. Again with Hetty's intimidation tactics. I'll never understand her, but I'll always admire her, that's for sure." I have already filled your closets with clothes. Though, I am afraid, you will have to go grocery shopping," she added. Just what I wanted. Grocery shopping with Deeks.

"We'll meet up here again in the morning," Callen said, and Deeks and I nodded.

"Have fun," Sam said with a smile, and I wanted to throw something at him. His comment annoyed me, but at the same time made me feel welcome. Teasing was the crucial part of my everyday work in Washington. This might not be home, but it's starting to feel a bit more familiar. Deeks saw them out, and I started going through my bag, trying to find a CD I carried around ever since Nell told me I'll be getting a new car soon. I probably have 100 Road Trip Mix CD's, but it never got to the point of me carrying it around like a child. I need to mark my territory in this partnership; I needed that car.

"What are we going to do now?" Deeks asked when he walked back into the living room.

"Go grocery shopping," I said with a sigh, and started walking out of the house." I'm driving," I said, trying to hide the pride in my voice. The car was absolutely beautiful.

"SRX? You drive an SRX?" Deeks asked, and I turned around to look at him.

"Don't bitchslap my car," I said, and he raised an eyebrow. I pretended to hug the hood once again." It's so fluffy, I'm gonna die!"

"You are really weird," Deeks commented, and I glared at him. Now we skip to the insult part? Too bad for him I don't find being called weird an insult.

"Get used to it," I whispered as I sat in the driver's seat. I wanted to jump up and down out of joy once I got the engine started. I stopped myself, feeling that that might be too much too soon for Deeks to see. I didn't waste a second before putting the CD in the player. As soon as I heard "Sabotage" by the Beastie Boys, I turned up the volume, and drove off.

Neither one of us knew this neighborhood, especially not me, so our brilliant plan was to drive around until we see a grocery store. I purposely avoided turning in time to two of them; I really enjoyed this. The car, the music. If it wasn't for Deeks, this would have been perfect.

And, of course, I had a cigarette in my mouth. My car, my rules. I'm not even going to look at him to see his reaction. I'm in my zone. He can either get in, or not talk to me at all. I completely lost it when "Right now" by Van Halen started playing. Singing along, banging my head to the rhythm, everything.

"Right now!" I yelled as I was singing along. I have a feeling that was too much for Deeks.

"You always act like this when you're driving?!" he yelled so that I can hear him over the music.

"Sing along to good music?! Damn right I do!" I yelled back at him.

"People are staring at us!" he yelled. I didn't even bother looking around. We were on a red light and I was pretty sure already we had a few eyes on us. I shrugged my shoulders and smiled.

"I really don't give a damn Deeks," I said. I turned my eyes to the road as our time was up on the stop light but I could swear I saw a smile on his face.

And that right there is the worst part of this whole thing! I'm pretty sure we would get along well if we had met under different circumstances. Deeks isn't exactly the class clown of this team, but he can take a joke, I can see that. I need to give him time. It's the only thing I can do, and I'll do it. We probably won't end up being BFF's, but I don't need that. I need a partner I can trust, and we'll get to that.

"So, how are we going to do this?" Deeks asked as we were standing in front of the door that kept opening and closing right in front of us, as we were standing too close to it.

"One cart, all over the store?" I suggested. He nodded with a look of determination. Dear God, we're treating this like a mission! At least it will be finished like a mission too. Well, hopefully.

This really was a mission to the two of us. It was all logical and pre planed. And teamwork was in it too. As for the differences… Well, we don't really know anything about each other; let alone what we like to eat. So we were grabbing whatever we could. Deeks was big on junk food, I could see that. I have my moments, but my love of cooking usually stops me from eating Doritos or something like that. It's the chocolate that does it for me. Still, I kept my mouth shut as he was filling up our cart.

Until I noticed him reaching for a frozen pizza.

"What do you think you're doing with that?" I asked him, starting to get freaked out.

"I'm hungry for pizza, and we can't exactly order one, can we?" he asked. As he was about to put that thing in the cart, I raised my hand to stop him, and to my surprise, it worked.

"Put that garbage back in the freezer," I said, slowly, as if I was telling a suspect to drop his gun.

"I'm eating pizza tonight. You're not stopping me," he said, but I raised my hand once again.

"Yes, you are. But I'm making it," I said, and he raised his eyebrows." You can eat whatever the hell you want in your free time, but you're not eating _that_ around me. Not in the presence of a decent cook," I said. After a few seconds of contemplating, he put the pizza back in the freezer. I think I scared him." Now, I'm gonna need some flour," I said, already planning a nice, home cooked dinner.

"I'm starting to realize why you are divorced," he mumbled, and I turned around to give him one of those blood freezing stares. I know it's a joke, and I appreciate the attempt, but it was a bit too much.

"We're not close enough for you to empathize with the dick of my ex-husband," I said.

"Yeah, you're probably right," he said, and I nodded. We worked in silence until we were at the cash register." Allow me," he said as he made his way to the cashier." This one's on Hetty," he said as he pulled out a credit card. Damn right it is. If I'm going to be roommates with Deeks, I'm not going to do it on my own expense.

I was singing on our way back, but I suppose he was expecting it this time around. He helped with the groceries, but then said that he has to finish some report. Which was fine by me, as I went into my Martha Stewart mode.

I went all out with the home made dough and all sorts of toppings, since I had no idea what he likes. I've made about 10 different types of pizza one two big ones. I even bothered enough to make my own tomato sauce, which is a million times better than regular ketchup.

I made a couple of phone calls as the pizza was in the oven. Of course, I had to call Chris first, just to save him the trouble of saying that he still won't let Logan stay with me. Now he had a perfect excuse. After him, I talked to Logan, who understood why I won't be seeing him these next couple of days at least. As always, he was asking questions about the mission, but I just told him I'm undercover.

And then, Mandy. The one who knows everything. And the one who couldn't believe it when I told her that I'm shacking up with Deeks for the time being. I had to choose my words wisely, since there was a possibility for him to hear me. Mandy announced that she expects daily texts aka reports of this whole living situation, and I will live up to her expectations. I doubt he and I will watch The Price Is Right or something. I'm going to need a way to kill time, and Mandy's perfect for that.

And she's smart. Not that long ago, she suggested that I organize a barbecue or dinner party for the team to win them over with my cooking. While I didn't do that, Deeks seemed to be enjoying the food.

"If all else fails, you should bring Eduardo some of this pizza," he suggested with his mouth full of food.  
"Will do," I said, holding back a laugh. He was like a cave man. At least he's not eating that crap he was going to buy." I don't know what are we going to do if Maria doesn't show up," I said.

"Regroup," he said. Yeah, like it's that easy.

"To be honest, I'm not sure what I'm going to do if she does show up," I admitted." I know the plan, and I'm going to follow it, but… I don't know. It feels wrong," I said. I had no idea where all of this is coming from. I really need to get a filter. Once I start talking, only God knows when I will finally stop.

"You mean, trying hard to be her friend and then using her? Not for your own good, but still, using her?" he asked. Boy, is he direct. I missed the time when we didn't talk at all.

"Yes, that's what I mean," I snapped back at him. What the hell is this? Just this morning, we were all weird and now he's playing my therapist? To be honest, I started it. I should have kept my mouth shut. This is hardly the first time I'm having a moral dilemma. Until now, I was able to hold it on my own, and why should it change? If I need someone to talk to, I have a whole list of people I should turn to before I turn to Deeks. Mandy, Gibbs, Abby. Even Logan is a good listener. Hell, I would rather have this conversation with Sam or Callen.

"You need to look at it long term," he said. I raised my eyebrows. He _is_ going to play my therapist." It is for her own good. And it's a right thing to do," he said. I know he means well, but I had a bit too much of that you're doing the right thing crap for today.

"I'm gonna call it a night. I'll deal with my guilt and the dishes tomorrow," I mumbled.

"Oh no, you cooked, I'm cleaning," he said. Who would have thought that he plays fair?" There's only one bedroom, and you are taking it. You need your rest more than I do. I'm taking the couch," he said. And he's a gentleman too. My insomnia might be a good idea for me to take the couch, and he the bed, but I do need my rest. And I did just make him dinner. I deserve a good night's rest.

"See you tomorrow," I said, and once he nodded, I left for the bedroom.

This is going to be a long night. A long week. Maybe even a long month.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys! It's time for another update, since I'm going to be out of town for a couple of days. Hope you like it! :)**

…

…

…

I was disappointed to see that Maria wasn't in the bar once I showed up for "work". This mission can go on for months if it has to, I'll live, but I don't want it to be deemed useless. I need to get to her, and I'm going nowhere at this point. The only thing I could do is smile, nod, do my job and hope for the best.

I was listening on the conversations Eduardo had. Both in Spanish and English. I managed to hide a mic under the bar, so that we could tape his conversations even when I'm not in the bar. I'm going to dive into translating them, but I was translating them now too, so that I know if I should carefully listen, or not. So far, no mention of Juan Castillo or any other marine, no guns, no shootouts, no robberies, not even a single word about Maria.

As far as I know, Callen, Sam and Deeks are all stationed somewhere where they can keep an eye on the bar, and by the end of my shift, Deeks will join me, playing Mike once again.

At least it was a busy night. I was preoccupied enough not to worry about this not leading anywhere. Deeks sent me a warning text that he was coming in, so I hid behind the bar to avoid any sort of greeting other than Hey. We still didn't discuss that one. We probably won't at all.

"Sorry I'm late," he said with a guilty smile, and I rolled my eyes." Hey Eduardo," he said, and the two of them greeted each other with that classic man to man combination of a handshake and a high five." Nell annoyed the hell out of me," he said with a laugh, and my heart dropped. Who the hell is Nell supposed to be, and why did he not warn me about this?!" You know how little sisters get," he added. Oh!

"Um, no I don't. Only child, Mike. Only child," I said, pretending to remind him of that fact.

"Well, I know the feeling. Cut him some slack, Elena," Eduardo said with a smile, and Deeks and I both laughed. Bingo! Deeks is a genius! I'm not going to tell him that, but he's a genius.

"What are you drinking?" I asked Deeks.

"A beer please," he said, and turned to Eduardo." You haven't seen nothing yet if she hasn't started dating a complete jackass of a guy," he said with a meaningful look. Why haven't I done this? It didn't even cross my mind. Maybe it's better that way, who knows how Eduardo would react if I tried to play the overprotective older sister. Besides, I've already said I have no one left in Washington. Inventing a little sister would be suspicious.

"Been there, my brother. She was dating a marine," Eduardo said, and Deeks made a face.

"Ouch. They're the worst!" he said, and I wanted to kick him, but decided not to. They are the worst? I wonder where detectives and LAPD liaison fall on that list of his. I happen to think that marines are the best." She came to her senses or what?" Deeks asked. Surprisingly, he was very subtle.

"You could say that," Eduardo said with a smile, and then turned to me." One more Elena, please," he said, and I focused on the beer. The son of a bitch killed him. At least we can be sure of that. We need proof, a confession, or a witness. We're getting nowhere with the proof, so we can't count on that. I've only just met the guy, but I doubt he's one of those righteous types who can't handle the guilt and it drives them into confessing. We could always try to push him until he breaks, but he doesn't seem much like that type either. That leaves us with a witness, who still isn't showing up on our radar." Thanks," Eduardo said as I handed him his beer. I wanted to look at Deeks, but I wasn't going to risk it. He just proved that he's not an idiot. He knows he did it just as much as I do.

I really should stop underestimating him. He's not a detective for nothing. Your charming personality isn't what gets the cases solved. While he lacks charm, he doesn't lack skill.

"How do you like it here, babe?" Deeks asked. Again with the Babe! What the hell is wrong with us? Have we not been in a real relationship to know that Babe isn't a solution? Not for me, at least.

"So far, so good. A bit too much testosterone for my taste," I said, and both he and Eduardo laughed." I wouldn't mind a little female backup, but I'll manage," I told him, and I gave him my best, angelic smile. I'm supposed to be madly in love with him. So far, we haven't exactly acted like that. If we're not playing the raw passion card, and we're not, I can at least look at him like he's my hero. It sure is easier to do that than to make out in front of Eduardo. Now that would be taking it too far. Not to mention how uncomfortable we would feel afterwards. Puppy dog eyes it is.

"I think you might get that female backup tomorrow," Eduardo said, and I mouthed "yes!" it made them both laugh." Now, have a beer yourself, it's on the house. Both of your beers. You're done for the night," he said. I would have considered him to be a nice guy if it wasn't for the whole Oh, he killed a marine thing. I poured myself a beer, and then took a seat next to Deeks.

"You came here with the bike?" I asked, and he nodded with a big smile on his face. He enjoys it, I know he does. By the time this mission is over, I'll have no trouble with bikes at all.

"Give me your hand," he mouthed to me, and I did as he said. I automatically remembered the time when Tony and I were pretending to be husband and wife. Tony is like a big brother to me, and it was still less uncomfortable than this. And I know the exact reason. I knew Tony. And I have no idea who Deeks is. All I know about him is that he's smart, grieving, and eats a tone of junk food.

"Let's just finish this, so that we can go home. I'm really tired," I said to him. I am tired, but that's not the reason why I want to leave as soon as possible. I have no idea what to say to him. We're not a lovey dovey couple, and that makes it a lot more difficult. I would call him my fuzzy shaggy teddy bear if we were pretending to be that type of couple. But so far, we were rational and slightly teasing, best friends turn lovers type of couple. And I have no idea how to act in those types of relationships.

I've only had three relationships worth mentioning. One out of them ended up with a divorce, and the other two lasted less than 6 months and happened while I was in high school. Well, one of them did. The other one was poor Greg, who probably still thinks I'm a secretary in a law firm.

It's difficult for me to open up to people, and considering my past experiences, that should be no surprise. I'm not sure how things went for Deeks, but it's pretty clear that Kensi meant a lot to him. Perhaps it is the fact that they worked as partners, but I think it's more because of their relationship. He hasn't mentioned her once. Not to me, not in front of me. This is one of those situations where saying nothing means a whole lot more than rambling on about it.

"Don't worry. We'll be home soon enough,"Deeks said, and I wasn't sure anymore if that was Mike talking to Elena, or Deeks talking to me. If the point is the same, does it really matter?

...

…

...

"We've got hours and hours of taped conversations. Our translators are working on them as we speak," Callen said. We all gathered up in the living room, this time joined by Eric and Nell too.

"What do we got so far?" I asked them. I wasn't there every second of the day. And even if I was, I was still working. There is no chance that I could have registered every single word that they said.

"Not much," he said. Just as I thought. We're going nowhere, and I'm not exactly helping. " He probably has no idea that he's under surveillance, but he's not stupid. He's not going to talk about it in a public place, especially not in front of a complete stranger," he said, and he just confirmed what we knew from the beginning. It's all going to be about the sister. At this point, she's our only chance in getting Eduardo.

"Well, you heard what Deeks managed to get out of him," I said. They all heard it, and it was really good. We're not any closer to solving this case, but at least we've made some progress thanks to him.

"And judging by his mention of female backup for Elena, I think you'll be joined with Maria tomorrow," Deeks said to me.

"Yeah, I won't believe it until I see it," I said." Leave me with some tapes to translate; I've got nothing better to do anyway," I told them.

"Miss Clark, I don't want you to push yourself," Hetty told me, and I smiled at her.  
"Don't worry about me Hetty. I know when I bite more than I can chew, and this is not the case," I said.

"We have something for you to do tomorrow," Eric said as he handed me a small gadget. It was a tracking device, I could see that." If you have a chance, put that on Eduardo's car. It wouldn't hurt us to know where he is at all times," Eric added.

"Don't worry, I'll make a chance," I said to him with a smile. At least I'll have something to do tomorrow.

Nell managed to take away the background noise from the recordings, but it still required a lot of concentration to register everything and to recognize whether or not it's worth anything to us.

I was so focused on the computer screen and their voiced that I didn't even notice Deeks until he waved a hand in front of my face to catch my attention. I put the record on pause and took of the headphones.

"It's 2 AM and you kind of took over my sleeping place," he said, and I shook my head.

"Don't be ridiculous. You can take the bed," I said, and he looked surprised." I don't sleep much as it is, and I'm gonna work on this for a couple of more hours. And you need your rest," I said.

"Okay, but if you change your mind, wake me up. Okay?" he asked, and I nodded, already knowing I wasn't going to wake him up at all. The couch he slept on last night, which I was sitting on right now, isn't even that bad. I've definitely had worst sleeping arrangements than this one.

"Sure. Good night," I said, and I didn't even wait for a reply before I put my headphones back on. We'll have time for small talk later. This is the priority now.

It was like watching an incredibly boring movie. It was boring, but you really want to see it, so you are trying your best to focus on every single word, knowing that you would feel guilty if you fall asleep in the middle of it.

The sun was already up when I decided I could not do this any longer. I closed the laptop, put down the blinds on the windows, and took my place on the couch. I was out in a couple of seconds.

…

…

…

I woke up to a loud bang. On my first instinct, I reached for my gun, which was resting on the table, right next to the computer. I lowered it once Deeks walked into the room. Stupid, loud idiot.

"Whoa, easy there," he said, and lifted his hands in the air. He was carrying a couple of shopping bags." I got you some coffee. I didn't want to wake you up, but it's already past noon," he just kept talking.

"Please, mute yourself," I whispered." It's too early for me to have a civilized conversation," I said, and I put a pillow over my head. I shouldn't have pulled an all-nighter last night. Whenever I do that, I'm nothing but miserable the day after. I'm not good company, and I probably won't be for the rest of the day. It's going to be one of those days when you wish people come with their own remote controls so you can mute them, or shut them off completely.

"You're not a morning person," I could hear Deeks say, and he at least sounded muffled this time.

"No, I'm not," I said, not even sure if he can hear me at all." Just give me a couple of minutes," I said once I started feeling guilty. He was nice this morning, and I didn't even think before shutting him down completely. He was the one who woke me up, but he was probably trying really hard for hours not to do so.

When I finally removed the pillow of my face, he was nowhere to be seen. The only difference was that there was a cup of coffee on the table. I didn't waste time. Cold, a lot of milk, one sugar. He has a good memory.

I was still a bit groggy half way through my first cigarette. But I at least decided to join him in the backyard. With my sunglasses on and my coffee in my hands, I walked outside. He was already working on his laptop. I'm going to take another ten minutes before diving into work as well.

"Have you found anything last night?" he asked, and I shook my head.

"Nope," I answered with a sigh." I don't know Deeks. It seems to me that our brilliant undercover mission is a bad solution. I keep thinking that it's best just to talk to the girl,"

"You mean to tell her the truth?" he asked.

"Yes. Sure, I can approach her in the bar, but I think that it's best for us to tell her the truth and convince her to turn in her brother," I said. This whole friend thing is stupid. It's going to take too much time. And if I was in her place, I would be upset about being lied to, and probably wound's say a thing.

"If your brother killed your boyfriend, would you turn him in?" he asked.

"Probably not straight away. But if incredibly capable NCIS agents try to convince me to the right thing, I might just break down and do it," I said. And I was being honest. I can't compare Eduardo's and Maria's relationship to the one Mandy and I have. For one, I know Mandy would never be capable of hurting, let alone killing someone. And if she was capable, she certainly wouldn't do it in front of me. But if push came to shove, I would do the right thing. Yes, I would probably hate myself for doing it, but I would do it. And Maria… well, I'm pretty sure she and Eduardo aren't as close as Mandy and I are.

"It's your call Clark," he said. I'm not sure, but I think this is the first time he's said my name. Well, my last name. Until now, I was either you or her." I'm pretty sure the rest of the team will agree with whatever you decided. If anyone gets a say in this, it's you," he said.

I understand why he thinks I should be the one who chooses. But I was asking for his opinion.

"But I want to know what you think," I said. I'm not beating around the bush anymore. I am not alone in this. And if I'm going to make a decision that will possibly compromise this whole mission, I need to know what he things about that. Not just him, the rest of the team as well. But he's the only one here, so I might as well get it out of the way.

He was quiet for a while. I think it's because he's considering the options we have.

"I think that waiting for her to tell it to you herself will waste valuable time," he said. So, he's agreeing with me on this one?" If you get a chance to, I think you should get her out of the bar, tell her the truth, and try to convince her to turn Eduardo in."

"And what if she doesn't?" I asked. That's a possibility too." What if she tells me to go to hell and runs back to her brother and our cover is blown?" I asked.

"Then we never show up there again," Deeks said. Just like that, like it was something simple. Come to think of it, it is simple. Hopefully, it won't get to that, but if it does, we step away and we find another way to bring Eduardo to justice. It's not exactly impossible." Just make sure to tell her the truth while we're both as far away from the bar as possible, "he added, and I smiled. If Eduardo does find out while we're within arm's reach, that would not end well for us.

"Whatever I decide to do, I won't do it without your approval. When I say your, I mean you and the rest of the team. It's not like we can take all the glory," I said with a smile.

"But if we fail, we will take all the blame," he added, and I actually managed to laugh. When he's not rude and moody, Deeks isn't even half that bad. The more time I spend with him, the more he reminds me of Tony. They are different, of course, but there is something in his attitude that reminds me of that goofy idiot of DiNozzo. But, unlike Deeks, DiNozzo didn't hold a grudge. He didn't randomly blame someone for something they had no association with. Tact. I think that's tact. Or I don't have a better explanation just yet. After all, this whole story has just begun. We probably have years and years ahead of us. Time will tell whether this will be a horror drama or a comedy.

…

…

…

There was still no sight of Maria. Slowly, but surely, I'm starting to lose the little hope I had left. If she doesn't show up tomorrow, I'm going to suggest another approach. We can't afford to waste any more time, and they know it. A part of me suspects that the only reason they were willing to wait was in order for me to prove myself. I'm not gonna lie, that would be a good thing, but I can live without the glory. This is not a personal battle. And I don't need to win it.

"What's the matter with you?" Eduardo asked me, and I managed to smile.

"I guess it's just not my day," I replied, and shrugged." Do you mind if I take my break now?" I asked.

"No, not at all," he said, and I took off my apron.

"I'll see you in 15," I said, and when he took over the position behind the bar, I went to the back entrance. Not wanting to waste any time, I looked around, checked if the coast was clear, and walked over to Eduardo's car. I put the tracking device under the front bumper.

"Let me know if that's good, Eric." I whispered, knowing that Eric or at least someone from the team would hear me. Seconds later, I got a text from Eric, which said nothing but OK.

I still had a couple more minutes to spare, so I lit a cigarette, and leaned back on the wall.

I need to keep it together. Eduardo will notice that I'm lacking the confidence I first had when I got here. Now he'll probably write it off, thinking it's just not my day, but tomorrow will have to be another day.

My phone started ringing, and I jumped to answer when I saw that it was Deeks calling.

"Yeah?" I answered, already prepared to hear some bad news. One of the benefits of the job, I guess.

"Maria's in the building," he said, and I literally jumped up." You're ready for this?" he asked.

"I sure hope so," I said, not trying to pretend to be stronger than I actually am. Now is not the time.

"Do you want me to come in?" he asked. Do I? He certainly helps me. Whether he tries to do that or not, his presence relieves the pressure. When he walks in, I'm no longer the only one who's pretending.

"In a couple of minutes. You decided when," I said. So far, his timing was impeccable.

"Good luck, Clark," he said. I couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah, you too," I replied, and the next moment, he hung up on me. We're not real partners, not just yet, but I have a feeling this guy will watch my back. And it will go both ways.

I didn't waste time. I was also in a much better mood when I walked back into the bar. And just like Deeks said, Maria was there. She wasn't hard to miss, and not just because I already knew what she looked like. She is a beautiful girl, one of those girls who keep their beauty simple, and do not push it out there. I'd like to think I'm one of those girls too, when I even bother looking nice at all.

She is wearing black, head to toe. That might be her usual style, or a sign of grief. Judging by the way she was bickering with her brother just now, she didn't share my good mood.

"Hi," I said with a smile when I approached them. They immediately stopped with their quiet fighting." I'm Elena," I said and offered her my hand. She managed to smile back at me, but you could see that it was with great effort. With all the things that have happened to her, I can't say that I blame her.

"Maria," she said as she shook my hand." You are the new waitress?" she asked.

"Waitress, bartender, whatever I have to be," I said, and she nodded.

"I'm just here to pick up some stuff, but we'll be working together tomorrow," she said. Well, finally.

"Good. I have some things that I have to do. No offense Elena, but I still don't feel comfortable enough to leave you alone in the bar," Eduardo said.

"Oh, none taken. I would do the same if it were my bar," I said.

"Well, I'm off," Maria announced." I'll see you tomorrow Elena," She told me with a small smile.

"Bye, see you," I said, and with that, the girl was gone.

I need to get her to talk tomorrow, which is next to impossible, since we literally just met. I guess I just have to admit to myself that this is not going to be solved that fast, not tomorrow, probably not this week. Theoretically speaking, I don't have a problem with that. It's always exciting to be undercover, and not even living with Deeks brings me down as much as I thought it would. Sure, I would love for us to close this case sooner rather than later, but mostly I'm the type of person who says however long it takes, and means it. The only difference with "in theory" and "in practice" is that I have a son. Who I miss, very much so. And who I can't see for as long as I'm undercover.

At this point, I'm lying to myself. Yes, I don't get to see him, but it's not like Chris will let him be with me for a few days. I'm not missing out on anything I wouldn't miss out on if this were a regular working week. I'm not sure why the hell am I surprised; I've been here before. It was always the job. Logan and the job, never anything else. If I'm going to dig deeper into it, that's probably the hidden reason my marriage fell apart in the first place. I have made my choices, and now it's time to stand behind them. No, it's always the time to stand behind them. It's just that now's the time more than ever.

Work comes first. When I don't have Logan, work comes first. And I can never forget that.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello there, my lovely readers. I'm back with a new chapter. As always, the next one will be up soon enough, since I had a chance to write a little bit in advance. Thank you for bearing with me, and a big thank you to OhBuddy66 and JerichoSteele for their advice and opinion! In trying to make Emily relatable, I have turned her into a slightly heartless, angry woman (You know what word I would use :) ). I don't see her that way, but her actions sure don't help her. I hope I fixed it a little bit. Don't forget to tell me what you think. Ana**

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…

I couldn't sleep. I tried. And even though it was my turn to use an actual bed, I couldn't keep my eyes closed. It didn't take me long to decide that it's time for a beer. I went to the kitchen, took one can from the fridge and as I was walking up the stairs once it finally hit me that the couch was empty.

I noticed it, but I didn't pay attention. My gun was still on the table, and I grabbed it instantly.

"Mike?" I called out, deciding to be in character for a little while longer. If Deeks's in trouble, it's probably because of this mission. I had to be safe. But no one's heard his fake last name." Deeks?" I called out, this time louder, ready to shot and kill if I have to. My partner's gone. That's the biggest alert there is.

"I'm here!" he called somewhere from outside, and I relaxed. I still didn't let go of my gun; that would be a beginner's mistake and a fatal decision if he was forced to say it. But when I walked out in the back garden, I could see him sitting in the same place we usually have our morning coffee and briefing.

"Are you alright?" I asked, and he turned around. Apparently, my appearance confused him.

"What's with the gun? And the beer?" he asked. Nothing's wrong with him, thank God.

"I got up, and you weren't here, and it scared the crap out of me," I admitted. There was no use in sugarcoating it. We're not exactly the perfect match, but he knows, there's no greater fear then when your partner's missing in action.

"Well, I'm fine, so you can relax," he said. The words alone sound pretentious, but he didn't sound like that to me. He was genuinely calming me down, just as I was genuinely scared for a few seconds.

"Want a beer?" I asked, and when he nodded, I handed him the one I already had on me. I have to go and leave the gun inside anyway. When I returned, I sat down across the table from him.

"Can't sleep either?" he asked, and I nodded." I never had that problem before." He said.

"You're lucky. Insomnia's a bitch," I said, and he smiled." It's not just in a middle of a case, it hits me almost all the time. I got used to it though."

"When did it first start?" he asked. I actually tried hard to remember.

"Can't say. I think it might have started even before I was an agent." I said. For as long as I can remember, I was able to function on three, four hours of rest. That's why I didn't have any troubles with Logan when he was a baby. When he needed changing or feeding, I was usually already up.

"How did you become an agent anyway?" he asked, and I smiled.

"I would usually say it was an accident, but I'm not sure if that's the truth. My father was a marine, and then an agent too. And Gibbs, my former team leader, he's my godfather. I grew up with it. But that does not mean I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up." I said with a smile." I was a waitress for a while. Then I was about to join the police, but I became a mother. And somehow, I ended up here."

"You've had quite a journey," he said and we both laughed.

"You could say that. What about you?" I asked. This was not a 20 question game. I don't expect answers from him just because I answered his questions. I wouldn't mind hearing more about him, but I'll completely understand if he doesn't want to talk about it just yet. However, this seemed like a perfect opportunity, probably even the best one we've had so far.

"I used to be a lawyer," he said, and I looked at him in surprise." Yeah, I get that a lot," he added.

"I'm not sure what you mean, but I know I didn't mean anything bad. My ex's a lawyer, and I used to hang around in those circles. Let me put it this way: I just met you, but you seem too cool to be a lawyer," I said, and I was extremely proud of myself that I made him laugh. And I was honest. Of course, not all lawyers are the same, and Deeks is just an example of that, but those lawyers I met over the years… they never were my type of people. Too stuck up and pretentious for my taste. While Deeks may seem to be a lot of things, I never did find him stuck up or pretentious.

"Thank you. I was a district attorney. And I suppose it's just wasn't dynamic enough for me. I became a detective for LAPD and one of my cases got me in touch with the NCIS. And Hetty wanted me to stay as an LAPD liaison," he said. Well, his story is definitely a lot more action packed than mine is. On the other hand, when it comes to the emotional part, I think I might have been on a bit of a rollercoaster.

"Do you like it this way?" I asked. I realized a bit too late that that question could be directed to a bunch of different things. What I meant was does he like it in the NCIS. What it could have sounded like was does he like being partnered up with me. Obviously, he didn't want it to end up like this. Before me, it was his girlfriend. And I understand. I can just hope that he understands than I understand. I might be making this whole thing a whole lot more complicated in my head, but it's complicated either way.

"It was a good change," he said. Good, at least he understood what I wanted to know." There have been ups and downs, but it's good," he said. It felt as if he was reassuring both of us. Great, now I feel bad." Do you think moving here was a good change for you?" he asked. Deeks just never seizes to surprise me.

"The diplomatic answer is that it's too soon to tell, but I think it's actually the truth in my case," I admitted with a small smile. He smiled back! Praise the Lord, he smiled back at me!" Los Angeles is a city like any other. Washington, Salt Lake City, Phoenix, Los Angeles, it's all the same once you get used to the change. I left a team behind, a family. But my son is here now, and so is my sister. And I have a new team. I don't really get to complain."

"Yeah, you do," Deeks said, and I my eyes went wide." I might be crossing the line here, but you don't move a kid away from his mother. Would you end up here if you're ex didn't move away?" he asked.

"Probably not," I answered truthfully. Of course, I can never say never. Who knows where my roads would have taken me. But Los Angeles was never a plan of mine." I think it doesn't matter anymore. I'm here, so I might just make the best of it," I said. I might make thinks a million times more complicated, but I make them like that mostly in my own head. When it comes to making moves, I'm pretty simple. I'm here. I can cry about it, or I can live with it. Crying would use a whole lot of energy, and I'd feel miserable, so I'm just not going to do it.

"Well, you are, aren't you?" Deeks asked, and I laughed. That was the only appropriate reaction.

"I'm not so sure about that one. I go to work, I go back home. That's pretty much the whole story."

"At least you're on a big case now," he said, and I had to agree.

"One that's pretty much leading nowhere, but a case nonetheless," I said.

"Give it time," he said. I don't have another choice, but he's right. It's the only thing I can do." Is this the most difficult case you've had?" he asked.

"Oh, God no," I said, smiling." I don't like when I'm not making progress and that's why this one is getting to me. But I've had worse," I said.

"What was the worst one?" he asked. I took a sip of my beer as I was thinking for an answer.

"I was undercover for two whole months. It was pretty bad just because of the length of it, everything else was pretty much okay. And when it comes to the emotional part, it has to be the one when I've lost my partner," I said. Oh God. Me and my mouth. Me and my not thinking before I speak. I wouldn't even notice if it wasn't for the look on his face.

"You lost a partner too?" he asked quietly.

"Yes," I answered. Are we going to talk about it or not? Again, I'm walking on egg shells. I have no idea what to do. And I definitely don't want to push him. This is progress. We've made some good progress in these couple of days, especially tonight. I'm tired of the dance. One step forward, two steps back. It's useless, and definitely not productive. But I have to say something. I can't just pretend not to register the too in his sentence. Besides, it's not like he thinks I have no idea about what happened." Look, Deeks, I get it. I really do. We're partners now. What I need to know is that you've got my back. And I think I know that. We don't have to be friends. Not yet, not even at all if you don't want to. But I don't have a problem with being strictly professional. We have all the time in the world. And I've been there. So, just, don't worry, okay? As long as we don't put each other's life at risk, I'm good." I said. I can't even tell who needs reassurance more now, me or him?

"Thank you," he said, and I nodded. It's a given. I'm a good girl, and I take this seriously. More than that, I understand. And I needed to tell him that. Now, now he knows. Whichever way he wants to play this, I'm going to do it. That's what partners do.

When I lost Max, I thought I needed space, but I needed friends. Perhaps Deeks doesn't know what he needs. And if there's one thing we have, that's time. If he needs me to keep away from him, I'll do it. I'm good at reading people, that's my job. I'll see when it's my time to back away. If he wants me to hug him and be his friend, I'm up for that too. Perhaps this whole dance on egg shells is exactly what needs to be done in order for us to reach the trust we need to have. I'm more than ready to do it, but I need to know if he's ready to do it too, or am I in this by myself.

We're talking, which is a nice change. He seems to trust my judgment, and I know I trust his. It doesn't matter whether or not we have a choice about it. Yes, he's still distant, but at least we're talking. That's a good sign that I am not in this alone.

"I think we should talk to Hetty about Maria," I said, not even guilty about changing the subject.

"I was about to suggest that," he said with a smile." We may be getting somewhere, but we're not doing it fast. Perhaps Maria doesn't need a friend, but just someone to tell here that it's not easy to do the right thing, but that it needs to be done sometimes," he said.

"Wow. Maybe you should talk to her," I said, and he laughed. I really was impressed. Of course, I didn't think the guy was stupid. I know better than that. It's just that he wasn't talking that much before, and now that he is, I'm impressed at how good with words he actually is. Or is it the emotions? I can't tell.

"Nah, I think you're better equipped to do that. Oh, wow, insomnia's wearing down," he said suddenly, and I laughed. God, I know and love that feeling when sleep is the only choice you have.

"Enjoy it while it lasts. You want the bed?" I asked, and he shook his head." Oh please, we're both adults and we're both doing our job here. I prefer the left side, if that's okay?" I asked. He was surprised, I could tell that much. But this wouldn't be the first time for me to share a bed with someone without any sexual agenda or drives, and I'm sure it wouldn't be a first for him.

"Right side it is," he said. Now it was me who was surprised. A part of me thought I would end up with a Hell no right there. To be honest, I doubt I'll even get to the bedroom. I'll probably either be up all night, or fall asleep right here, in this chair." Good night Clark, "he said as he was walking back inside.

"Good night Deeks," I said after him.

Sleep hit me soon enough, and once it did, I realized what a horrible mistake I've made. Deeks was sleeping like a baby. If he was snoring, that would be easy to handle. It's his proximity I have a problem with.

I had a problem with that since I can remember. Even when I was married, Chris was a big problem for me in bed. I don't feel comfortable to sleep that close to someone. It sounds crazy, but it was always that way. Hell, I couldn't even share a bed with Mandy and sleep well. Not to mention that it's been ages since I've slept next to someone. The proximity, the warmth, the breathing, it all makes me itchy and annoyed and more awake with each passing second. It doesn't make a difference if he's on the other side of the bed; I still know it's the same bed.

Left with no other options, I grabbed my pillow and settled with the floor. The carpet is soft enough, maybe even better than the couch. It was the guilt and awkwardness that made me feel uncomfortable.

…

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…

When my subconscious isn't resting, chances are, my body won't rest either. I knew I didn't want to raise the level of awkwardness between me and Deeks, and that's why I was awake before I knew it. Once I realized that I won't be falling asleep anytime soon, I decided to move to the bed. That way, he won't know I spent half the night on the floor.

It wasn't that bad. The bed's big enough for me not to feel the heat radiating his body, which really is the biggest problem I have when I'm sleeping next to someone. I knew I won't fall asleep again, but at least I'm comfortable.

On the other hand, I was incredibly bored. So I grabbed my phone.

 _You up?_

I texted Mandy, knowing that's she's probably getting ready for work and also that she might be slightly pissed of that I didn't exactly report to her on a daily basis. Or at least not in detail.

Mandy was what I would call, involved. When it comes to me, her baby sister, she wanted to know everything. And I told her everything. It never bothered me, especially because she's my unofficial shrink. It was just, one of those little things, you stop even noticing after a while.

 _Yeah, what's up in the Deeks-Clark household?_

Of course she's calling it like that. Now that the tension is down, it's an open season.

 _Very funny. Good, actually. No snoring from his part._

 _Wait, you two are sleeping in the same bed?_

 _Well, I was on the floor, but he doesn't know it. You know I'm weird about sharing a bed._

 _Yeah, that's why I was surprised. How are things going with the case?_

 _Slow. Hopefully it'll get better today._

 _I'm sure it will. I gotta go, talk to you later. Love you._

 _Love you too :)_

Well, so much for a distraction. I might have nothing to do myself, but she's busy and I can't expect her to put absolutely everything on hold because I feel like talking to her, or texting her even.

I decided to make some breakfast. At least I'll be doing something useful.

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…

I couldn't even begin to explain the relief I felt when I entered the bar and saw that Maria was there and Eduardo was nowhere to be seen. Unfortunately, we did have to work, so our communication was limited to her telling me what someone ordered and me asking her whether they would like it this way or that way. It's still a start, and it's definitely a step forward, so I didn't feel too bad about it. I'll have time to talk and now, I finally have an opportunity to do it.

Once again, Sam, Deeks and Callen were stationed nearby, ready to intervene if there is a problem. We all knew that there's no need for it, but still, it's better to be safe than sorry, especially since I'm not armed. If we don't count the knife I use to cut lemons, and we don't really count that.

At least I was relaxed, as much as I could possibly be on an undercover mission. Maria was pleasant, but distant. She didn't start a conversation, and I was too worried to start it myself.

As it usually happens in the late afternoon, work slows down a little bit. It's quiet before the rush, so it's better to take good use it of the free time.

"So, Elena, how did you end up here?" Maria asked.

"Here in the bar or here in Los Angeles?" I asked.

"Both, I guess," she said with a smile. My first impressions of here weren't wrong; nice and kind, but she keeps her distance. Eduardo was much friendlier, but that may have been the case because I am a girl.

"Well, the bar I stumbled upon. And Los Angeles, well, that's a classic. Love," I said with a small smile, seemingly thinking about my wonderful boyfriend. My backstory may very well be what makes me likable as Elena. Especially now that the poor girl lost the man she loved.

"Oh, it's like a movie story?" she asked. At least she seemed interested in what I had to tell.

"Pretty much," I said with a big smile, like I was confessing her a secret I was proud of, and happy about." He was visiting Washington, we ran into each other at a party, met up tomorrow, and next thing I know, I'm packing my bag and carpooling with him. It may seem crazy, or impulsive, but I love him. And I loved before. When you've already loved someone and thought that was it, for sure, 100% certain that you'll be with them forever, and then lose them, well, the next time around, you know for sure. It's a familiar feeling," I said. Nicely played Emily! I'm opening up, for all she knows, I'm being honest, I'm talking about a love I'd do anything for, and a love I lost. I'm relatable now.

"What happened with the last one?" she asked. And, bingo!

"He passed away, actually," I said, in a low voice, but I tried not looking like I'm too sad." It happened years ago. Who knows where I would be if he was still alive." I added.

"Oh, I'm sorry for your loss," she said, and I could see, crystal clear, that she truly was sorry for my fake misfortune. I've hit the wall of guilt. I knew it was there, I knew I was minutes away from hitting it, but boy, did I hit it with a bang.

"Thank you, but it really does feel like it had happened in a different lifetime. I was a different person back then. My life… it wasn't good. I didn't always make good choices. Although, I did learn from my mistakes. Now I'm happy, healthy, working and in love. No matter the shit you're going through, it does get better," I told her. I'm going to lose it. I don't know who I'm reassuring at this point. Am I talking to Maria, to my alias, or maybe even to myself?! You would think that for a mother and a woman with a good, stable and responsible job I would have more self-assurance, but no way, here comes Emily, a giant, slightly bipolar mess of a woman.

"My fiancé died two weeks ago," she said. I know that it's my job to get this out of her, but I don't remember ever feeling this shitty about it. It was always something that needed to be done. It still is, and that's why I'm doing it. The only problem is, this girl deserves more. She deserves a real person, a real friend, and not me, lying to her and using her for a greater goal.

"Oh my God," I whispered. It wasn't difficult to look shocked." I'm so sorry. And here I am, rambling on about second chances. Oh my, I'm so sorry," I whispered. Again, what am I apologizing for?

"No, no, no," she interrupted me." No, Elena, it helps. Especially when it comes from someone who's been through it," she told me. Here I am, Emily Clark, world's biggest lying bitch.

"What happened?" I asked her. It was the only thing I could think of.

"He was shot. Right in front of me," she said. Do I ask who did it or not? An unsuspecting waitress would ask. An agent would calculate, but right now, for all tens and purposes, I'm an unsuspecting waitress.

"Did they get the person who did it?" I asked.

"An investigation's in progress," she said. Man, she's smart. She just avoided lying to me. If I wasn't a trained professional, I probably wouldn't even notice that there's more to that.

"I hope they find something," I said, and she nodded. She didn't look determined and angry like most widowers I was faced with. Usually, the death of a spouse, or a boyfriend for that matter, leaves them with negative emotions, which is understandable. I'm guessing that's not Maria's case simply because the one her anger would be focused on is her own brother." Look, it's probably not what you want to do right now, but from my experience, you need to get out. I'm not talking about clubbing and that nonsense. But just, be outside. Do you want to go grab a coffee tomorrow, or something? I have a day off, I don't know about you?" I asked. I might as well do something useful at this point.

"I would love that," she said with a smile." I work the second shift, I don't know if you get up early?"

"Oh yes. 10 o'clock, here? I'm still not familiar with the Los Angeles layout," I explained.

"Deal," she said. Tomorrow's D Day then, if the rest of the team agrees with it. And I think they will.

 **Just a little note here. The bed thing is 100% real. I have the same problem, and I thought it would make a nice touch. Hopefully, I wasn't wrong. It had nothing to do with Deeks, it's just something Emily has a trouble with, and like I said, I have the same problem. It ain't easy! :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey guys! It took me a little while longer than I expected, but I'm here. I got a new job, and I work every single day, not one day off. But you know, that's the way it goes. Anyways, hope you enjoy this one! :)**

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We have gathered in the living room at seven, sharp. Together, we went over the logistics as we were drinking our first coffee for the day. We had an update from the crime scene investigators; it appears as if the gun used to kill Juan was in fact, stolen. Of course, a whole team of people is working to connect that stolen gun back to Eduardo, but we have no knowledge on whether or not that will be enough. And as always, it doesn't hurt the case to have an eyewitness to confirm the suspect as the murderer. No matter the evidence, we still need to push Maria to tell us the truth.

And for the first time, I can give her a good reason, and not the 'it's the right thing to do' bullshit. If she does tell the truth and point a finger at her brother, she will get complete immunity, and she will leave with no charges. If she keeps quiet, and we do manage to prove that Eduardo killed Juan, she can be prosecuted for aiding and abiding a criminal and for interfering with an ongoing investigation. The prosecution might decide not to do that, but there's always a suspicion. If, on the other hand, she does come forward, NCIS and LAPD will vouch for her, and she'll be free. Scarred probably, but still, free.

We're sticking to our plan, and then we will see which way it goes. The task is still difficult, for all of us, but mostly for me, since I'll be the one suggesting it to her. And it's all going to go down today.

I'm a nervous wreck. And I don't know how the hell am I managing to hide it. I'm sure I'm not that successful in it, at least not in front of my team. They've all been here, they know I'm freaking out on the inside, but a complete strange would probably never tell what was going on inside my mind right now.

I felt so overwhelmed that I actually had to walk away, using the excuse that I need to grab some air. Of course, I waited for a nod from Hetty. Once I got one, I went outside to the backyard.

"Emily?" I heard Sam call, and when I turned around, he was walking over to me." How are you handling this?" he asked. Oh Sam, that's the million dollar question.

"I'm… not sure," I said, fully aware that that's the only thing I know for sure. That's how stable I am. The only thing I know for sure is that I'm not sure." Whatever happens, I'll live, I'll manage, but it doesn't really get easier, does it?" I asked.

"No, it doesn't," he confirmed. He's probably even longer in this business than I am. If he says it doesn't get one bit easier, than I can be sure of it." What I really want to know is how are you dealing with this privately?" he asked, and he confused me even more.

"You mean like Emily Clark, and not Elena?" I asked, and he nodded." I'm not sure about that either. I miss my boy, but that's all I know at this point. Everything else is okay," I told him. I no longer feel like a complete alien amongst them. It's still not smooth sailing, but at least we're used to each other at this point. Deeks, who was in a way my biggest problem, is not a problem at all anymore. To be honest, I have imagined this whole thing to be far worse than it actually is. Once I stopped silently overreacting, it really was… well, normal. That's the best word I can find. Things are normal now.

"I know how that feels. I have two kids myself," he said, and I was surprised.

"Two? I know you have a little girl," I said. I saw the picture and he did talk about her before.

"I have a son as well. He's in military school," he said. Military school? He must have been my age when he had him, or a little bit older." How old is your boy?" he asked.

"He's eight. Nine in a couple of months," I said. "It's funny, isn't it? You think it's just stories and that having a kid may change your life, but it won't change you? And then you're a parent. And your whole world revolves around them. You still live your life, do your everyday responsibilities, but your mindset is completely different, isn't it?" I asked.

"180 degrees," Sam said, and I nodded. One sentence that sums up the change in your life before and after having a kid." I wouldn't change it for a thing," he said.

"Neither would I. It's just that it would be easier to have someone to return to in a proper sense. I'm done with complaining. I at least have someone," I said. Seriously, it's a good time for me to shut up. If I don't like the way things are, I'm going to try and change them. I'm not going to whine about the custody and Chris, I'm just going to go ahead with it and try and do something this time around. Not now, unfortunately. I still need to end this mission, hopefully with success.

"Are you ready for this today?" he asked me.

"I am. It's not the question on whether or not I'm ready; this is my job. I love it and I'm good at it. As any job has its good sides and bad, this is just a bad side. The question never was whether or not I'm ready. It's the way I feel about it. And that's something that I need to deal with on my own," I said.

"You don't have to," Sam said. Okay, now I'm confused. And he can see it." We've gone through the initial distrust, the 'getting used to each other' period. You're not in this alone," he said again.

"Then how do I tell this girl that I lied to her, and that betraying her brother is the right thing to do?" I asked, and Sam didn't respond." I can calm the guilt; I know it's the right thing to do. It won't follow me for the rest of my life. It's just… what might seem right to me might not be right to her," I said.

"You need to make her see past the surface," he said. Sam is a smart man, but boy does he know how to speak in codes. Sure, I need to show her the other side of the medal, but how? How do I do that? I may have my speech rehearsed, but that won't cut it." Be a woman, not an agent. A friend. I can't tell you how to do it, because I don't know. I can only tell you that I'm 100% sure that you can do it. I know you well enough to be sure of that," he said. Sam has one of those smiles that are impossible not to reciprocate. You cannot look at him and not smile back. Especially when he's your moral support.

"Thank you," I said. And I mean it. Especially since I didn't expect it at all. I thought Callen might give me my first real pep talk. Perhaps Hetty. Hell, I even would have expected Deeks to come through, but it was Sam."God, I'm gonna need a drink when this is over!" I said.

"I hear ya." Sam said, laughing." Come on, let's get this over with," he said, and I let him lead me back inside. I'll have plenty of time to be by myself later; right now, we need to do this. Together.

It might be just me speaking, but I'm not doing this by myself. This is definitely a group effort.

"Emily, we'll be stationed nearby," Callen said, and I nodded." We need a distress word," he said.

"Baby oil," Deeks said, before I even opened my mouth. Hetty glared at him, Callen looked as if he was about to punch him on the head while Sam, Eric and Nell were pretty much just confused. And I had to bite my lip. I was trying so hard not to burst out laughing.

"Do we even want to know?" Sam asked, and he was looking at me. I shook my head.

"No, you really don't," I said, shaking, as I was unable to hold back my laughter entirely. And when I looked at Deeks, he had a big smile on his face, probably proud of himself. I have to admit, this one was really good." I'm pretty sure I won't need to use a distress word, so let's just stick with baby oil," I suggested. Elena is not a criminal, and she's not armed. If there is such thing as a safe mission, this is the one.

"Any way, we'll all be nearby," Callen continued." If she agrees, you two get in the car with Deeks and head for the boat house," he said, and I nodded.

"But what if she doesn't?" I asked.

"In that case, we regroup, and we drop the act. You'll probably go on lock down," he said. I expected that one. Once your cover is blown, you have to disappear, as soon as possible. Of course, it's depends on how much information about you is known. Usually, you don't have a chance to wait and see; you just go. But if our cover should be blown today, we're as safe as we can be. They don't know our names, let alone where and how to find us. As safe as we are, protocol needs to be followed. So, if I don't convince Maria to turn Eduardo in, lock down it is.

"I'll do my best not to get us to that," I said. It benefits no one, literally no one. God only knows how long it would last, and I'm not ready for a few more days away from my family.

"Emily, let me just put a mic on you?" Nell said, and I spread my arms, letting her do her job.

"Do you know what will you say to Maria?" Hetty asked.

"I have a general idea," I said, my speech already playing in my head, in my own voice. It's the right thing, Juan deserves better and you deserve better… all melodramatic bullshit she wouldn't want to hear." I might wing it. Don't worry," I said when I saw the look on her face." It's going to be a carefully planned 'wing it' if it gets to that," I reassured her. I would never let myself screw this up.

"Then let's do this the best way we know how," Hetty told me. I was trying to read her expression, but with no success. I cannot tell if she even likes me or not! I suppose she does, or else I wouldn't really be here, would I?

Whether I like it or not, now's the time I get to prove myself. It has been a slow and steady trip so far, and now we get to the real action. And I'm right in the center of it.

At nine thirty, we all got in our cars. The plan is for Maria and I to take a walk; Callen and Sam will be walking along with us, I'm not exactly sure where, and Deeks will be in a car, so that we have a quick getaway in case we need one. In a couple of minutes, the case will be in my hands.

"Are you alright?" Deeks asked when he parked a block away from the bar. It took me a few seconds to calm my thoughts and actually answer him.

"Yeah," I said, looking at the rearview mirror. I don't look nervous, so I suppose that's a plus." It'll all be good once this is over," I said. I'm going to convince her; I know it. It's not some sort of ridiculously confident manifest. I just now that I won't let her walk away, knowing what she does. I'll try to play it as honest as possible, but if I have to, I'll play all my cards. I know it will work.

"If anyone can convince her, it's you," he said, and I smiled at him. I can't pinpoint the exact moment when I think he stopped hating me and started liking me, but I'm glad it happened. We are nowhere close to the partnerships I had before, and I definitely know that this partnership is nowhere close to the one he had with Kensi, but at least we're trying. And not hating your partner is a good thing.

"Guys, Maria is in place," I heard Callen say with my earpiece. This time, I'm wearing it. It's a different thing when I was going undercover for the whole day. Besides, I need to hear them too.

"Let's do this then. I'm off," I said as I closed the door of Deeks's car.

I did not look around; I did not try to see them. I'm still in character, and I need to act natural. That's why I put sunglasses on my face, and started jogging towards the bar. Maria spotted me.

"I'm so sorry I'm late," I said as I stopped in front of her." Mike's at work, I had to walk and I still get lost every block or so," I said. Damn it, Emily! Keep it simple! The more you tell her these little lies, the more she has to hold against you!

"Oh, don't worry about it; I just got here," she said with a smile." Let's grab coffee and we can go to the beach?" she suggested, and I agreed.

I can't do this straight away. I know when I have a chance, but it's not now, not in a line in Starbucks. So I waited. I waited for the right time. We walked and we talked, and I kept on nodding, trying to decide when it's the right time for me to smack her in the face with the truth.

The worst part is that we are talking nonsense; complete nonsense. Everything from what's the weather like in Washington compared to Los Angeles to what's the sand like. _What's the sand like!_ They were quiet in my ear, but I can just imagine the boys trying hard not to laugh at my lack of… well, cojones.

I was jumpy and nervous. If she hadn't suggested that we take a seat on one of the benches on the beach, I have no idea what I would have done.

It needs to be fast, reassuring and calm. And effective, since we do need some sort of a productive result.

Now's the time. As she was talking, I looked around, just to be sure that we're nowhere close to Eduardo or one of his friends or whatever they are. The only face nearby I recognized was Sam's.

"Maria, can I tell you something?" I asked her, as soon as she stopped talking.

"Of course," she said, with a kind smile. Little does she know… Still, I have to do it.

"I wasn't completely honest with you. Or with your brother," I admitted, and the smile was gone. She was serious, and she was waiting for a more thorough explanation." And I'm going to be honest with you now. My name is not Elena. It's Emily. And I am an NCIS Special Agent, investigating the murder of your boyfriend," I said in a low voice. There it is. While I can't say that the situation is promising, at least she didn't run away the second she heard what I had to say.

Although, that may be because of the shock. She still might run once she recovers from it.

"So, you lied?" she asked. Thank God I didn't wait any longer. It's bad enough as it is. A few more days would probably be even worse than I would like to admit. She looked pissed off, but she's not a stupid girl. She's not going to cause a scene; she now knows I'm a federal agent.

"Yes. I have," I said. I should probably give her a couple of seconds to get used to this. So, I waited. Until I decided that waiting a little while longer would probably be a bad idea." The funny thing is, you would be surprised to know how much of what I've told you is the truth. A different name, yes. But I have dealt with loss before. And I used to be a waitress as well," I said. Nope, now's not the time for comic relief Emily. Not now." But I am an agent," I said.

"How come it's not a detective that's cornering me now?" she asked.

"Because Juan was a marine. It falls under our jurisdiction and LAPD were more than happy to pass it on," I said. Sure, now I decide not to lie to her." It happened in front of you. I know you've seen the killer. Why don't you name him, describe him so that we can make a photo robot, anything? Why are you quiet?" I asked. Provoke, face the outburst, and then go into details.

"Are you blaming me now? Are you judging me?!" she asked. And that was the outburst.

"Maria, let me explain something to you. Your fiancé was killed. You are a witness. If you do not step forward, and it turns out that you knew and recognized the killer, you could do time as well. That is not up to me, that is up to the prosecution. We know who did it, Maria. And we will find evidence. When we do, I can't guaranty that it will end well for you. If you do speak up, I will vouch for you myself and make sure that you do not get in trouble," I said.

This is a fine line right here. I do not want to threaten her, and it sounds like I'm doing just that. This time around, I am not lying. She could really get in trouble once we confirm that Eduardo is the killer.

"Don't ask me to do that," she whispered. I grabbed her hand.

"Maria, I am doing that because that is the best for you," I told her." We can wait, and we will find the evidence we need, and we'll be back to square one. But that scenario could not end well for you. I'm not going to pretend to know how this feels like for you. I have never been in a similar situation, and even though I lied to you, I am not a hypocrite. I can only imagine what strength you will need to have to speak up, but Maria, it needs to be done. That is the right thing. Someone needs to speak up on behalf of Juan, and that someone needs to be you," I said.

I couldn't read her. Most of the time, I can tell which way the wind is blowing, especially when it comes to an interrogation. This is not an official interrogation, but me, begging her to come forward and point a finger at her brother.

Usually, I could tell what is going to happen; whether or not someone's going to be on our side, or keep their mouth shut and ignore my pleadings.

Her I could not read.

Worst case scenario: We never show our faces at the bar again, continue to keep surveillance from a distance and wait for solid evidence. That is if Maria decides to tell me to go to hell. But she's still quiet, looking ahead, around, anywhere really, just not at me.

Unlike Maria, I was raised in a whole different surrounding. She grew up with her trouble maker brother, and she got used to it. Eduardo really was kind and nice towards me, but that doesn't erase his previous actions. And Maria was probably used to it. I'm not that similar to her as I would like her to think.

Mandy and I… we weren't exactly privileged, but we never missed anything. Well, until our father died. And by the time our mother was sick, we were already grown. We never needed anything, we were raised with a strict sense of what is right and what is wrong, and we still live by it. Not just me, since I followed my father's footsteps when it comes to working as an agent; Mandy does the same. She's just a regular teacher, an artist, and she still has those values deep down inside her. I am not suspecting that Maria had a worse childhood than we did, but the situation was simply different. And she did not grow up as a federal agent's daughter, not even as a marines' daughter. Expecting her to betray her brother just because we think it's right… well, I don't know which way it's gonna go.

"It's funny, isn't it?" I asked once I realized that this is probably my last chance, and that she isn't thinking the way I hope she would think." You sit here, talking to me, or, not talking, that's more fitting. You do not talk because you don't want to betray him. And he betrayed you in the worst possible way," I said. It was a low blow, a cheap shot. Yet it needed to be done.

It needed to be done, because I could see it now. I could see the change she felt, in a single second, just when she registered my words. It's done.

"Good job," I heard Deeks say, but I ignored it and suppressed my triumphant reactions. She still needs to say it. She needs to look at me and say it.

"What do I do now?" she asked. She looked defeated, and that right there is the reason I won't enjoy this 'victory'.

"You're gonna go with me, and we're going to take your statement," I said. I waited for a reaction, and once she finally nodded her head, a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.


	11. Chapter 11

**Guys, I'm back. I'm terribly sorry it took me this long to post a new chapter, but this one wasn't written in advance, and I hit a bit of a crisis. I work 16 hours a day, 12 if I'm incredibly lucky, without a single day off for 26 freakin' days! That's not even legal, but what can I do. Anyways, I haven't forgotten about this story, and I write whenever I have a chance. I'm sorry for the wait, and I hope the next chapter will be up faster than this one. In fact, I'm gonna risk it and promise it will be up sooner rather than later. Hope you enjoy this chaper! AnnieDD**

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Callen and Sam were the ones interrogating Maria, and I was glad because of it. I'm not sure if I could do it well enough. I was, as we say, 'emotionally invested', and that is never a good thing.

The one who is being interrogated should be 'owned' by the agents, whether or not they are guilty or not. You are superior in that room, and that's the way it should be. I'm not so sure if I would be superior if I was interrogating Maria. I felt guilty for lying to her, and that could put me at a disadvantage, so I was more than happy to let Sam and Callen take over.

Deeks and I were watching on a monitor, sitting in silence, listening to what Maria had to say.

And she told them everything we needed to know. How Eduardo never really liked Juan, no matter how nice the guy was. They had a fall out two days before the shooting. The shooting itself happened just like she said; only now she didn't hold back on the identity of the shooter. Eduardo did shoot Juan in cold blood, not giving a damn that he did it in front of his sister.

"We should have done it like this in the first place," I said, and Deeks gave me a questioning look." We only made things more complicated by going undercover. I could have just approached her, and told her what I told her today. We would have probably ended up here anyway," I said.

"And you wouldn't have the guilt to deal with?" Deeks asked me.

"That too," I said. There was no point in lying; he's not stupid, and he's not new at this. I could have denied it as much as I wanted to, but he would still know. Frankly, it was obvious." It doesn't matter anymore. At least we're done with it," I said. As always, looking on the bright side.

"Um, no, we're not," Deeks said, and it was me that gave him a questioning look now." Well, there's still going to be a trial. But before that, there's gonna be paper work. Hetty won't let us of the hook easily," he said. Of course, how could I possibly forget the worst part of this job.

We're not in life threatening situations every day, not even close! There's plenty of work in the office too, and Hetty's just like Gibbs about that one; you have to do it, and you have to do it as soon as possible. I don't really drag it out, but I don't enjoy it, that's for sure.

"Let me guess, the two of us will be drowning in folders and papers?" I asked.

"Well, it certainly won't be Sam and Callen," he said, and I couldn't help but laugh. The two of us were more invested in the case than the two of them. It was only logical.

"Hopefully, it can wait till tomorrow. I want to see my boy," I said. At this point, I don't really care what Chris has to say about that. While he may not let Logan spend a lot of time with me, he won't deny my fifteen minutes, at the very least. Even if that means I have to wait for hours in front of their house. And I'm ready to do that. I don't give a damn.

"How long has it been?" Deeks asked.

"Well, before we started this case. I don't count the days. That can only make things worse than they already are, and frankly, that's a challenge," I said. I was using sarcasm as a defense mechanism, yet again. I'd rather pretend than talk some more about my troubles and feelings. It's not like he can't see how troubled I am with it. Still, that shouldn't mean I have to bore him to death with it.

"I know Hetty said she'll help, and she will, but I can make a few calls," he said. I turned to him so fast I thing I might have hurt a couple of muscles while doing it." Well, I was a district attorney," he said, seeing that his words caught me completely by surprise." Divorces and custody cases weren't exactly my specialties, but I know a few people. It wouldn't hurt to make a few calls," He said.

"No, no it wouldn't," I said. I'm not sure what surprises me more, the fact that he's ready to do that, or the fact that he changed so fast from the guy who didn't even look twice at me, to this guy right here." I'd appreciate that," I said, not wanting to thank him before time. Who knows if I'll need his help, or if it works at all?

"Sure. Just tell me when you make your move," he said, and he turned back to the monitor.

I'm not sure if I even want to know what caused this change, but I'm not going to poke the bear. He's nice, I'm nice; why not let it be that way? Besides, my focus needs to be elsewhere, like on this interrogation, in the room next door. I'm still very much involved in this case.

The interrogation lasted a solid hour. She remained in the room, and Callen and Sam walked out.

"Do we have enough?" Deeks asked the same question I was about to ask them.

"Well, it's enough for us. Hopefully it will be enough for the prosecution," Sam said. That was always a double edged sword. More often than not, we are in touch with the prosecution, and we work together, covering every ground possible. This was a situation when we did not have time, not without a certain risk. Maria might have a change of heart, call Eduardo, and he will be out of the country before the lawyers give us a green light. The legal mumble jumble will have to wait.

"Are we going to make an arrest?" I asked.

"Yeah, we're going to the bar right now," Callen said." Do you want the honors?" he asked me.

"I can go as your back up, to cover you, but I think you should make the arrest," I said. I had no reasons to back that up, but I did not want to do it. Of course, I did not have reasons for that either.

"Do you want to stay here and keep an eye on Maria?" Deeks suggested. I'm not sure if he's aware of that or not, but he just saved me from drowning. He gave me a perfect excuse to stay behind.

"I think that's a good idea," Sam said, and I nodded.

"Yeah, I'll do that," I said.

"Good. Let's go and get ready," Callen said.

"Good luck!" I yelled as the three of them walked out of the boat house.

I have no idea why I didn't want to do it. After all, I was the one who invested the most in this case, followed by Deeks. It was our undercover work, and I just decided to back out of it.

It's not like I don't want Eduardo to feel betrayed. He'll find out soon enough I'm an agent, and Deeks will probably be the one who arrests him. Besides, he's a killer. It's not some moral dilemma that kept me away from this. I guess it was the guilt, once again. I didn't want to leave Maria here alone, and I certainly did not want her riding shotgun to have the best seat in the house while we arrest her brother.

It had to be the guilt. It also stopped me from walking into the interrogation room straight away. I stared at the monitor for a solid ten minutes, watching her fidgeting and waiting for one of us to return.

She almost jumped out of her seat when I walked in. Our eyes met, but then she looked away. I was unsure of my every move, but I decided to teak a seat. She didn't look up, but I kept looking at her.

"You did the right thing, Maria," I said to her. The logical guess was that she feels bad about confessing and incriminating her brother.

"Then why doesn't it feel right at all?" she asked, and this time around, she did not look away. She wanted an answer, and even though I'm not sure whether I'm right or wrong, I need to say something. Anything, at least to try and make her feel better.

"He is your family. I can only imagine how wrong it must seem to you. But just because you don't like what you did, doesn't mean that you did something wrong. If that makes any sense," I added.

"Actually it does," she said." But that doesn't change the fact that I have no one left in this world. Now, I really am all alone." she said in a whisper.

"That is not your fault," I said. I can recognize the look of guilt when I see one." It's not my fault either. You did your duty, and I did my job. Eduardo, he did this to himself, Maria. He is the one who left you alone. He killed Juan; he took him away from you. And by doing so, he put himself in prison. You can blame God, you can blame me, you can blame whoever the hell you want, but the truth is, it is your brother's fault." I said.

I wasn't trying to turn her against Eduardo. Truly, what use would I have from it? The things I said to her are my opinions, nothing more, nothing less. If my views can help her feel better about this whole thing, than that's only a giant plus.

"I know you have a point. I know it," she said, and I couldn't help but wonder whether she even listened carefully to what I was saying." But it's… it's horrible to know you have no one to turn to," she said.

Boy, does that sound familiar. You can feel alone even when you're surrounded by tons of people. I had a small group, and I would be completely lost without them, but I do know the feeling she's talking about. That might as well be the worst feeling in the world.

"I'm sure you have friends who'll be there for you. And, I know it's not much, but you have me," I said, and she looked at me in surprise." I understand that you're probably angry. I get it, I probably would be to if I were in your shoes. Actually, take that probably away, I _know_ I would be pissed. Now, I was undercover, and I did have a motive, but I didn't make up my entire personality. And you seem like a nice friend. If you have no one to turn to, you can have me. I've been in Los Angeles only for a little while and honestly, why not be friends?" I asked.

I do need a friend. I have co workers, a sister, a son and an ex husband here. But no friends, no friends at all. Maria just told me that she's all alone. And, in all honesty, the guilt was still killing me. I'll completely understand if she never wants to see me again, and I'll respect it, but why not go against expectations? Either way, it's completely up to her.

"I'd like that," She said, and I smiled at her." Although, I need to have a bit of time. To wrap my head around all of this," She told me. Well, that's more than understandable.

"Look, you're done for today. And you'll probably be free until the trial. You have my number, and whenever you feel like it, just give me a call," I said. Hopefully, if and when that happens, I won't be in a middle of a case, and I'll actually have a chance to speak to her.

"Okay," she agreed and smiled at me." Am I free to go now?" she asked. I've never been on the other side of the interrogation room, the one facing the glass/mirror, but I can imagine that it's not exactly comfortable. I would probably feel cornered.

"Yeah. Do you want me to give you a ride home?" I asked, even though I would probably be at a loss if she gave me the name of the street I need to drive her to.

"No, I think I'll take a walk," she said, and I was up on my feet, opening the door for both of us to leave." You will call me if you need anything else from me?" She asked, and it seemed almost as if she's scared of that more than she would like to admit.

"Yeah. Maybe it won't be me, but it'll be one of my colleagues," I said.

"Mike?" She asked, and I could only nod. She knows he's probably not even called Mike.

"Yeah, we're not a couple. He's my partner," I explained.

"I thought as much," She said, and I nodded. It was pretty obvious once I told her that I'm a federal agent." But to be honest, you never seemed like a real couple to me," she said. In just a second, my heart dropped. The last thing an agent wants to hear is that their cover wasn't that believable.

"What do you mean?" I asked, nervous about what her answer might be.

"Well, you basically told me that yours was an epic love story, that it was love at first sight and that I moved across the country because of him," she said, and I nodded, knowing that that's exactly what I told her." And I never really saw that with the two of you. I thought, okay, perhaps they are not that open with their love, but now that I know the truth, it makes sense. You were believable, but not believable enough," she explained.

Well, it's not as bad as I thought. Both Deeks and I made the decision not to push it when it comes to our pretend relationship. The less they see, the less they have to suspect. However, it's never good to find out that you didn't do as much as you probably should.

I'm going to keep this to myself. No, I'm going to tell him. He deserves to know, especially since it was obviously a mistake. But I'm not going to tell it to Hetty. That is, of course, if the whole boat house isn't under surveillance and she already knows that we almost screwed it up.

If Eduardo and Maria were only a bit more curious and suspicious, we would have blown it. We were lucky this time around, but if we're going to pretend to be a lovey dovey couple in some future case, we're going to need to pay more attention to details.

"Thank you for telling me that. We obviously need to work on it," I said.

"No, it's not that I didn't think you weren't a couple; that never even crossed my mind. It's just that you seemed more like two people who were getting to know each other, and not someone who just found true love," She said. Now, it makes even more sense.

"We've been partners for less than a month," I said, and she started nodding her head.

"Yeah, that explains it," she said," I'll call you once everything settles down a bit,"

"I'm not going anywhere," I said. And with that, she left the boat house.

What am I to do now? I can't go home, there's work left for me to do. And I don't really want to face the team at this point, but it's not like a have a choice. If we're gonna work together, I might as well get used to letting them see me even when I'm not at my best.

I'm going to lose it, eventually. Once Maria moves on a little bit, the guilt will probably be long gone. I'm used to it by now, I'm used on having it, I'm used to the fact that it stays with me for a while. The only thing I can do now is my job. And I'm going to have a whole lot of paperwork waiting for me.

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I was right. Sam, Callen and Deeks were neck deep in interrogating Eduardo, and I was neck deep in paperwork. And what I'm doing now is just the tip of the ice berg. People usually don't know better, and think that our job is life threatening at all times. While it can be risky when we're on the field, office work is your typical office work: you have a lot of paper, and you have a dead line.

My mind was, as usual, somewhere else at the same time. I was focused enough to not make any mistakes, but I kept thinking about Logan, and how long it's been since I'd seen him.

After less than an hour, I swallowed my pride, and I called Chris.

"Emily," he said, sounding surprised." You're not undercover anymore?" he asked.

"Nope, we closed the case today," I said. It's in my job description to not give too much details to someone who doesn't need to know them, and Chris really doesn't need to know anything about it. He didn't need to know while we were married, he sure as hell doesn't need to know them now." I was wondering when I'll be able to see Logan. Today, maybe?" I suggested. I know that idiot; he's going to find a reason why I can't see Logan today. My only chance was that I caught him by surprise and that he doesn't have the time to think of a legitimate excuse. But he's not stupid. He's a lawyer. He's as good in lying as I am in spotting a lie. It goes with our job descriptions.

"Emily, you caught me by surprise, I didn't plan on this," he said. Well, he did sound nice enough, which was a surprising change. Unfortunately, that's not enough.

"Neither did I, Chris," I said, since I really had no idea it was going to be today." I miss him, and I'm just finished with this undercover thing, and I want to see him. I deserve as much," I said. I wasn't feisty; I don't have the strength for it as much as I did before. If it were up to me, I would just completely skip over Chris, and go and see my son. Sadly, Chris is an obstacle that won't leave, anytime soon. And I'm tired of it. At this point, I would much rather play nice and kiss his ass, than fight. Especially when I know he's more likely to give in if I'm playing a good girl.

"Okay. It's not like he doesn't want to see you," he said. Did someone do a lobotomy on this guy? He's not the same asshole he was only a week ago. Who knows what changed. Only thing I know is that I sure as hell won't try to change it." You can come over to the house if you'd like. I'm going to be working late anyways," he said.

"If you won't be at home, why not let him stay over at my place?" I asked. I don't want to push my luck, but even he has to see that that makes much more sense." You won't pay for a babysitter, and he's going to spend some time with me. And I'm going to drive him to school tomorrow," I said.

"Okay," He said, and surprised me, once more.

"Thank you. I'll call you if I need you," I said. Who knows what I might need him for, I can never be too safe. But we ended our call, and suddenly, this day seemed a whole lot better.

I can do the work when he's asleep. I don't want to waste one second of my time I can spend with him. I only need Hetty's blessing. So, I cornered her as she was going out of the building.

"Hetty, is it okay for me to leave?" I asked her, crossing my fingers behind my back." I'll bring the papers home with me. I just need some rest and to spend time with my boy. But if I have to be here, just say it," I said. If she says I can't leave, I won't leave. It's as simple as that. Rules are rules.

"I believe that Mr. Callen and the rest of the team will manage for the rest of the day without you," She said, with her signature smile, and I couldn't resist the urge to hug her.

"Thank you Hetty," I said once I let her go," If something changes, you will inform me?" I asked.

"I'm sure Mr. Deeks will let you know how the interrogation went," she said, and she was on her way.

I stayed only for a couple more minutes, to pack of everything I'll need, or I'll might need, and I was off.


End file.
